Survivors
by PSITeleport
Summary: Five men, five women, trapped together on a desert island. Sun, sand, and skin. This is gonna be awesome! Shika/Tema, and 4 other pairings to be revealed as the story progresses. Occasional citrus.
1. The One With the Man Boat

**A/N: **I think I've finally discovered my niche: ultra-convenient plot tropes. I love them like Skittles, y'all, and I've had way too much fun writing this. This is the first chapter of a novella-length fic that will probably be about five chapters...[Edit 11/9/13: I never finished this fic but I occasionally plunk at it when I get bored with other things. If it ever _is_ finished it will be novel-length and way more than five chapters. Thanks for reading!]

* * *

**Survivors**

**Chapter One: **

**The One With the Man Boat**

Temari woke up to the sound of two females screeching outside. Before she could sit up in bed and wonder what was going on, Sakura and Tenten came tearing through the curtain. They pitched forward, put their hands on their knees, and gasped for breath.

"A boat," Sakura said. "North of the island."

Temari bolted upright and tore off her blankets. She grasped beside her pallet for her skirt. "Are you sure?"

"We think so," said Tenten. "It's long and narrow. Hard to tell at that distance, though."

"Did you light the signal fire?"

"We lit it."

Temari stood up and shook sand out of the rectangle of fabric. Then she tied it like a short sarong around her waist. She bolted across the room to where Hinata slept, nestled in the curve of Ino's body, her face peaceful and reposed. Temari gave her shoulder a shake.

"Hinata," she said. "Wake up. We need your eyes."

Hinata was a little slower to come alive and catch on, but soon she and Ino both were throwing on their clothes and talking excitedly.

"A boat!" said Ino. "I can't believe it! I didn't think people ever came this way."

"Try not to get too excited," said Temari. "We won't know for sure until Hinata gets a good look at it."

Hinata was working a stiff top made of rabbit skins down over her shoulders. Ino took the bottom of it with careful hands and helped pull it down. Of the five of them, only Hinata still bothered wearing anything above the waist. The rest of them were content to be bare-breasted; it's not like there was anyone else on this island to see them. Temari had already cannibalized her old yukata and turned it into a dozen more useful items, anyway. She had her own rabbit skin top around here somewhere, but she rarely wore it; they were too hot in the summer, and too restrictive all the rest of the year.

"Hinata, hurry up," said Tenten. "Can't you pick a better time to be modest?"

Hinata's voice was muffled behind tough leather. "But what if it really _is_ a boat?"

"Then we'll have plenty of time to come back and get dressed. No one will be able to see us from that far away."

Hinata insisted on covering up, which ate up five or six more precious seconds. Then Ino clasped her hand and dragged her out of the hut. The five of them tore through the sand toward the north side of the island and rounded the jetty to the stretch of beach Sakura and Tenten indicated. Temari was already straining her eyes to see whatever dot might be on the horizon. She finally saw something like a dark smudge, long and narrow, bobbing on the surface with no apparent direction.

Ino saw it, too, and responded with vocal disgust. "That's not a _boat_. It's a dead tree. Like a log or something."

"No, it isn't," Sakura said. "It's too wide to be a palm tree. And don't you see something moving inside?"

"_No_. I see an old, dead tree."

Privately, Temari agreed with Ino. It was too far away to see anything clearly, but it didn't look like any boat she'd ever seen in her life. But only Hinata would be able to tell them for sure.

"Hinata, check it out," said Temari.

Hinata nodded and activated the byakugan. She stared off toward the mystery object with intense focus, her normally shy face twisted into something much more intimidating. Suddenly, she gasped.

"What is it?" said Temari. "What do you see?"

She spoke as if she couldn't believe her own words. "People."

This was met with shouts of joy as Ino, Sakura and Tenten immediately began to celebrate, and Temari raised fingertips to her brow bone to try and steady her own sudden emotions. She started to ask if it looked like military, but the other girls' eager questions drowned out her own.

"How many?"

"Men or women?"

Still that incredulous expression on Hinata's face. "Men."

"Tenten. Sakura," said Temari. "Go back the the signal fire and throw everything on it that will burn. Hurry."

"You don't have to," said Hinata. "They already see us."

This stopped Temari short. How could anyone see them from so far away? Not even a telescope had the range of a Hyuuga.

Then Hinata raised a hand. She waved at the boat, slowly, like she was caught in a dream, and whispered a name.

"Neji-nii-san..."

Shocked silence settled on the beach. Neji. A guy that had died four years ago, during the same storm that had left them all stranded on this island. He couldn't possibly be on that boat. None of the men had survived...

Tenten spoke. Shouted. Demanded explanations. "Hinata, did you say 'Neji-nii-san?' _Neji_? Are you talking about _Hyuuga_ Neji?"

Hinata nodded, astonished but convicted. "He's there, Tenten-chan. He's alive..."

"Oh, my god..." Tenten sank to her knees in the sand, her eyes reflecting that astonishment. "He's alive? Neji?"

"He's coming for us!" said Sakura. "He got home somehow and he came back-"

Hinata shook her head at this, still gazing toward the boat. "He never got home, Sakura-chan. None of them did."

"What do you mean?"

Another whisper.

"They're all on the boat."

O O O

"Shikamaru..."

"What is it? Do you see anything?"

Neji reached up and wiped a drop of sweat from his forehead before it could roll into his eyes.

"I think I need to be relieved."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I'm hallucinating."

"What are you seeing?"

He cleared his throat, then gave another futile swipe at his forehead.

"A beach full of naked women."

In a flash, four other men were on their feet, staring in vain toward the island as the boat pitched dangerously beneath them. But all they could see was a shadow that represented trees, and smoke curling up and away into the sky.

O O O

Temari finally located the stupid rabbit-skin top, in the crate where she kept her gardening supplies. It was really just a wide strip of the leather, held together by laces in the back, that encircled her ribcage and covered her breasts. This was done out of necessity rather than fashion, since animal skin, like everything else on this island, was in short supply.

She couldn't care less that Neji had seen her boobs. They were _alive_. Like magic, all the guilt and shame over the fact that she'd done absolutely _nothing_ that night were gone. Not that there was much she could have done; she'd used up all her chakra trying to navigate the ship through the storm. But none of that mattered anymore. They were alive. Alive, and headed this way; not to rescue the women, Hinata had said, but to join them. For now, that was good enough.

She hunted down Sakura and made her lace the top up good and tight so it wouldn't come loose, as it was occasionally want to do. After helping Sakura with hers they went back down to the beach to join the others. Hinata was still involved in a silent conversation with Neji, mouthing a few words and then watching for Neji's response, occasionally nodding or smiling at whatever he'd mouthed back to her. Ino and Tenten were dressed, too, chests adequately covered by leather or fabric. They were antsy, sitting down and folding their legs as if preparing to wait, then jumping up to pace around, complaining all the while about how long it was taking. She had to admit that she was getting a little tired of waiting, too. As far as she could see the guys had only cut their distance in half. It was the anticipation that was killing her; they had so little in their lives to look forward to nowadays that she'd forgotten how to be patient.

"Hurry the hell up," she murmured at the boat. "I'm getting old, here."

After a moment, Hinata giggled. "Neji says they're rowing as fast as they can."

"Oh, does he?"

"And they can't abandon the boat because it's full of supplies."

Temari waved hugely toward the boat. She thought she could see a raised arm in response. "And what else does Neji say?"

"He says the other guys are disappointed that we got dressed before they were in visual range."

"Ha-fucking-ha." She scowled theatrically for Neji's benefit, amused at the sheer audacity. She couldn't imagine any of them saying anything like that in the past, but their civility had no doubt suffered during their long years alone. They'd probably gotten used to spouting exactly what they were thinking, just like the girls had gotten used to going around half-dressed.

Just the fact that _Neji_ had passed it on, through _Hinata_, spoke volumes.

Temari did her own pacing until the boat got close enough that she could see the jury-rigged way it had been constructed. It was more like a raft, made from palm trees and other flotsam, and she thought she could see a patchwork sail that had been pulled in, made from the same kind of textiles she and the women were forced to use. The guys keep rowing until the boat was near enough to the beach that the incoming tide could be trusted to keep it from floating away, then they jumped out and began running across the water on chakra-stabilized feet, a spray rising up behind them as they kicked their way through the waves. Soon Temari could make out their ragged shorts and bare chests, their suntanned skin and wild hair; only Neji had his hair pulled back in what might have been a braid.

Temari didn't know what to make of the guys that were headed her way. The scrawny, baby-faced boys with whom she'd spent her last mission were gone, replaced by scruffy, broad-shouldered men. Chouji had lost all of his unnecessary fat, revealing the muscles that had probably lay underneath it all along. He was still square, but it was all strength, no gluttony. They all looked like they'd grown a foot, which was a little intimidating considering that she and the other girls hadn't gained much more than an inch apiece. But their faces weren't any harder or more cynical for being older, or for the years they'd lost on whatever island _they'd_ been trapped on. No, all Temari could see was open, unabashed joy, grins that widened with each step that brought them closer. In that one way, at least, they looked younger than they ever had before.

Suddenly, Naruto's voice wafted out over the water, deadened a bit by the sound of crashing waves.

"Sakura-chan!"

The name broke Temari out of a daze; she could feel it hit them solidly. What the hell were they all doing just standing here? As one they began running out toward the men, sending chakra into their feet to keep themselves from sinking as they landed lightly on the cool surface of the water.

"Naruto!"

The guys doubled their pace at the girls' initiative; they were twenty meters away, then ten. But then Temari began to doubt herself. Why was _she_ running so hard toward these guys? What was she going to do, grab one? It's not like they were _her_ childhood friends and former teammates. No, there would be no excuse for a total loss of control, here; she could let the Konoha-nin greet each other first, then make her reintroductions afterward.

So she slowed a bit right before they made contact, hanging back as male and female crashed together in a laughing, hugging pile of bodies. She smiled at the way Sakura knocked Naruto back so hard that they both ended up in the water, and how Kiba scooped Hinata up like a baby, holding her close to his chest while she squeaked and clung to his neck.

"Kiba-kun!"

"Short Stuff!"

"You're alive!"

"_You're_ alive!"

Ino had managed to get her arms around both Chouji and Shikamaru, and was scaling them in an effort to hug them closer. Shikamaru smiled at something she was saying, but his eyes fell on Temari and he deftly twisted loose from Ino's grasp, giving her a consolatory pat as he did so. His mouth curled up in a half-grin, and that's when Temari realized he was headed straight for her.

"What's the matter?" he said. "Shy?"

"No, I just-" She was cut off when he snatched her up and hugged her, lifting her feet off the water in the process so that she had no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck. "Oh, god!"

She felt, rather than heard, him chuckle. "I don't remember you being so short, Temari-san. Are you sure you're getting enough calcium?"

"Oh, shut up!" she said. "Just because you're a freaking giant, now..."

His arms tightened around her as he laughed. She wasn't sure she could remember a time when someone had hugged her like this. Maybe Mother, although the memory of those days wasn't very clear. Maybe Kankuro, when he was three years old and terrified of Baby-Monster-Gaara. But no one since then. Certainly not. So for a moment she buried her face in his neck and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of being held so tightly, crushed against a male chest. He was acrid and musky, the smell of a man that had been outside for god knows how long. She'd forgotten this smell, forgotten how horrible/pleasant it was, forgotten sweat and tang and salt and dirt.

She'd forgotten men.

"Shikamaru..." She pulled back and looked him in the eye, hoping to convey to him how pissed she suddenly was. "You son-of-a-bitch! I thought you guys were dead!"

It was someone else that answered from behind, a male voice that had a hint of a growl.

"Might as well have been dead. Four years with nothing but ugly dudes to look at?"

She turned to see Kiba, who managed to pry her away from Shikamaru and gave her a hug of his own. She wasn't sure how she felt about being passed from one guy to the next like property, especially when she barely knew the one that was being so possessive of her right now. But she decided that was too happy to be a feminist bitch right now.

"What," she said, "no one would put on a coconut bra and dance around for you?"

"I would have punched them in the face if they'd tried it."

She laughed at the mental image, then released him so she could hug Naruto. Hesitance gone, she made the rounds this way, grabbing the men one after the other. Even stoic Neji. They were overjoyed to see each other, and kept hugging and laughing until they couldn't mold enough chakra to keep from sinking anymore. Then Chouji and Kiba grabbed the boat, hauled it far up onto the sand, and the girls helped the boys carry their equipment to camp. On the way, Shikamaru explained how the men had happened upon the women out here in the middle of nowhere.

"About a year ago, Neji thought he noticed some smoke with his byakugan, but it was so far away and so dispersed that he couldn't be sure that was really what it was."

"Our signal fire," said Sakura.

"I think so," he said. "Neji started watching the eastern sky more often, and eventually he saw it again, this time a few miles to the north. We figured it had to be so far away that the wind was able to give us the wrong idea of its exact origin, but we began plotting the relative distance of the smoke each time it appeared and the starting point at the horizon, and when Neji saw it again two months ago we were able to narrow down the possible origins to within a half-degree."

"You should have seen our island," said Naruto. "Shikamaru turned into a giant compass, or something. He cut down trees and made a grid that covered the whole beach, and, well, I don't really know what he was doing, but it worked."

Temari reached out to pat Shikamaru on the back, but snagged her hand, clasped it in his own and wouldn't let it go. She understood the need. They were all in constant contact with each other, an arm draped over a shoulder or looped around a waist, fingers ruffling hair or rubbing the back of a neck. Like they couldn't stand to be alone, now that they'd found each other. Temari kept catching herself being overly physical with guys and girls alike. But she couldn't help herself.

"How long did it take you guys to get here?"

"Seven days," said Neji.

Temari halted in her tracks, and when Shikamaru got to the end of her arm he came to his own abrupt stop.

"Seven _days_?"

"Seven miserable, nauseating days." That was Kiba. "Following the stars at night and sleeping under our sail during the day so we wouldn't get sunburned."

Temari stared at them all in shock.

"What the hell were you thinking? What if you'd gotten here and found nothing? Was there even room on that boat for enough water and food to keep you alive for two weeks?"

Shikamaru smiled grimly. "Not really, no. Just one week."

"But, what if you'd had to turn around..."

"Temari..." His fingers tightened a bit around hers. "We were never going to turn around."

Realization came to her, and she tried to shake his hand off in anger. But he held fast and she was unable to disentangle herself. "So it was a some kind of suicide mission?"

"That's not it," said Chouji. Ino rode on his back with her chin resting on his shoulder, and he had his arms crossed behind himself to support her hips. "We had to trust Neji's eyes and Shikamaru's brain, because there was nothing left for us on our island. We had to believe we would make it."

"Our island wasn't like this one," said Neji, his own hand caught in Tenten's. "It was smaller. It couldn't keep supporting us in terms of food and fresh water. We wouldn't have survived much longer one way or the other."

She couldn't argue with that, and yet she could still see the relief in Shikamaru's eyes, and maybe a hint of guilt. He'd convinced everyone else to trust him, but had he really trusted himself?

"It doesn't matter anyway," said Ino. 'They made it. That's all I care about." She hugged Chouji tightly around the neck in a way that would have strangled anyone else. He just smiled.

When they got to camp, Ino and Hinata went to fetch fresh water and leftover salted fish for the boys, and Temari took Shikamaru and Neji into the hut to show them the amenities.

"We're not exactly prepared for company," she said. "We only have these three beds at the moment. But we can sacrifice some of the padding to make more futons, and we have a few blankets and pelts that aren't in use. I think it'll be okay."

"We've been sleeping on a boat for the last week," Neji said. "The ground will be fine."

Shikamaru was staring at the pallets that served as their beds, his eyebrows furrowing deeper and deeper as he studied them. Temari suppressed a smirk.

"Problem?"

"Three beds," he said.

"Yep."

"Five women."

"Mm-hm."

His eyes narrowed a little more. "How exactly does that work? They look pretty small..."

"That's my bed," she said, pointing. "This one is Sakura's and Tenten's, and Ino and Hinata share that one over there."

Neji seemed to be paying attention now, too, but neither he nor Shikamaru asked any more questions. She had to laugh at their expressions.

"Don't worry too much about it," she said. "I think it was physical closeness they needed more than anything else. I'm sure you guys can relate."

"Not to _that_ extent," said Neji.

"Well, they seem to be shifting their attention to the men just fine."

For some reason, this comment bothered Shikamaru. "Yeah, I want to talk to you about that..." He glanced back over his shoulder at Neji, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow.

"You want me to you leave you alone?"

Shikamaru nodded. "For a minute."

The atmosphere was awkward, a little tense, and Temari tried to lighten it with a joke. "We're going to gossip about you for a while. I hope that's okay." Neji just jerked his head and left the hut, letting the thin curtain fall behind him.

She was alone with Shikamaru, now, but it wasn't doing much to alleviate the tension she was feeling. How long had it been since she was alone with _any_ guy? And although she was trying not to dwell on it, this one attracted her. Maybe it was her own need for intimacy, which she'd never felt inclined to share with one of the other women. But it was probably just the fact that she was twenty-three years old and still a virgin. That was depressing enough, all those years in the presence of only women, but now that men were here it felt completely unbearable. She couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until that little problem was remedied, and which new citizen of their community would be assisting her. At the moment, she wasn't sure she'd be able to refuse an offer from any of them. But one candidate interested her a lot more than the others.

"Listen," Shikamaru said. "Have you noticed anything strange about the way everyone else is acting?"

"You mean touchy-feely? We're all doing that."

"Yeah..." He stared over her head, as if deep in thought. "Not just that, though. I guess you wouldn't have noticed."

"Noticed what?"

"Everyone seems to be pairing off already. Neji with Tenten. Naruto with Sakura..."

"Oh, that. Yeah, I noticed. Does it matter?"

"It matters, because they're all getting attached to former teammates. Members of old three-man cells."

Oh, no, Temari wouldn't have seen that. She didn't have much knowledge about who used to be partnered with who. But now that he'd told her, it bothered her as well. None of them were related by blood to their old cells, like Temari was with her brothers, but there was still a closeness that came with all those years and battles and near-death experiences that created a bond very similar to the sibling bond.

"I wonder why they would do that?" Temari said.

"Convenience? Comfort? I don't know."

"I noticed you didn't pair up with Ino," Temari teased. "Is that because Chouji got to her first?"

"Ha," said Shikamaru, more with disgust than humor.

"Maybe it isn't really 'pairing,'" she said. "Maybe all we're seeing are people who care about and missed each other."

"Maybe." He didn't look convinced. "I guess I'm wondering what else it could turn into, especially right now when we're all emotionally starved."

"And horny," said Temari, before she could stop herself. Shikamaru gave a wry smile and let his eyes fall to the ground.

"Right."

The conversation stalled uncomfortably right there, and Temari's hands decided it would be a good time to tie her hair back with the length of palm twine she kept wrapped around her wrist. Her hair was far too long for her old pigtails to be feasible; now she just wore it in a thick, unruly ponytail that reached to her waist.

It drew her attention to Shikamaru's hair, which stopped just below his shoulder blades. Dreads were beginning to form at the ends. How long it had been since he'd washed it? Or cut it? It had to have been chopped short at some point or it would be as long as hers by now, but like all the guys you could tell he'd been neglecting it.

When she looked at his face again, she found something that disturbed her. He was watching her with a look in his eyes that she'd never seen before: hunger bordering desperation, like a starving man staring at a full banquet that he was not allowed to touch. It was then that she realized she'd seen this expression on the faces of _all_ the men today, in some form or another. Even on Chouji, while watching Ino skip off in search of clean water. On Naruto, when Sakura had come up out of the ocean dripping wet after tackling him. An expression of near-starvation. Not the way a man should look a woman that was almost a sister. Temari _wasn't_ Shikamaru's sister, nor was she his former teammate. But there was still something troubling about his face, and after a moment she figured out what it was: not only did he look hungry, he also looked _afraid_. As if he wouldn't be able to stop himself from stealing something from the table for much longer.

She cleared her throat and crossed the hut to stand near the curtain. "So, what should we do about the others?"

After a moment, he was able to tear his eyes from her. He took an unsteady breath. "I think we need to make some sort of anti-fraternization ordinance. No sex or fooling around or whatever for a week or two, just until everyone calms down. Maybe that will give them a chance to think more clearly and assess other romantic options."

She laughed. "Your comrades are going to love you for that."

"I think I can convince Neji that this is the right thing to do. If we present a united front, the other guys will fall in line."

"You sure you're not just hoping _Ino_ will assess other romantic options?" She grinned, but he nodded seriously.

"She'd better. I don't think I'll be able to be around her if she hooks up with Chouji. It's too..." He fumbled for his phrasing, before settling on, "..._wrong_."

"Okay, so no fraternization for a week. I guess I can order the women to do that."

"Thank you."

"But, you know, this might be a battle you can't win. We're different people, now. We're relating to each other in different ways. And maybe that's okay."

"Maybe," he said. "All I know is that hormones are probably going to make us act in ways we'll regret later. Our community is too small to support screwing around and pissing each other off. We need to keep that from happening until everyone has a chance to wise up a little."

She gave him a mock-salute. "Sir, yes, sir. Will that be all?"

His lips turned up in a smirk. "That's all."

"Good." She crossed the room to him again and took one of his dreads between her fingers. "Now, about this hair..."

* * *

**A/N 2: **I know, _I know_. I'm sure Naruto could, like, summon Gamabunta and they could teleport or apparate to safety or whatever, but let's all pretend for a second that these guys don't have god-like powers that make it hard to write a fun story. Everyone who's with me, click the review button!


	2. The One in Which Everybody Has a Bath

**A/N:** This chapter title became "The One With..." and it gave me a really strong Friends flashback, so I decided to update the last chapter title from "The Man Boat" to "The One With The Man Boat."

Thanks to Coelha-chan, Jan Lee, and lovesrainscent who gave me some inspirational advice for this chapter and future ones, and in particular with helping me stuff Shikamaru's backpack. :)

* * *

**Chapter Two:**

**The One in Which Everybody Has a Bath**

Shikamaru stood in front of a hot spring, lined up with the other men, preparing to climb in. That is, they _would_ be climbing in if the women would ever bother to look the other way long enough for them to strip.

"What the hell is this?" Kiba said with mock irritation. He was loving every minute of this. "Two hours in the presence of females and they're already bossing us around?"

"Hurry up!" called one of the girls. Sounded like Tenten. "We're not going to peek!"

"Peek all you want," Kiba said. In a flash he jettisoned his shorts, sent them flying, and sank into the water with a satisfied sigh. A round of catcalls rose from beyond the trees. He chuckled.

"Okay, who's next?" A particularly predatory-sounding female voice. Temari.

"I think one of you girls should go next," called Naruto. "It's only fair."

A swell of laughter. "Nice try!"

"Yeah, Neji's already seen our boobs, anyway," said Ino.

Naruto pouted comically. "And what have the rest of us seen? Nothing!"

"Too bad, so sad! Now, someone get naked!"

Meh, there was no point in dragging this out. There were worse things in the world than having a group of women ogle his ass. Things like having no women around _to_ ogle him.

Shikamaru loosened the draw string on the tattered old shorts, and then pulled them down and stepped out of them while the women went bat-shit.

"Hubba-hubba!"

"_Some_one's been doing their squats!"

He took his time folding the shorts and placing them on a rock. Then he stepped into the spring. Apparently this was encouragement enough for the other guys, who stripped down one-by-one and climbed in, as well. High-pitched pandemonium ensued.

"Hallelujah! There _is_ a god!"

"_Damn_, I wish I had some dollar bills!"

"Where would you stick them?"

Insane laughter, and he finally felt a hint of a blush. But it was _really_ hard to care. It felt so good to be soaking in hot, clean water. There had been no source of standing water big enough to bathe in on the island they'd left; in fact, their first order of business had been to build a contraption that could catch and store rainwater for drinking. Most of their bathing had been done in the ocean, which always left them feeling a little itchy and never totally clean. This spring was heaven.

This _island_ was heaven. He'd spent the last four years fantasizing about Konoha and all the comforts of home, but compared to the sandy, near-barren crag they'd just left, this new island was a lush, tropical paradise. So far he'd seen berry bushes, banana and coconut trees, and enough small animals scurrying around that he knew that, with some conservation, they'd have a steady supply of meat for as long as they lived here. There was clean water that came from several small, natural springs, some of them hot, for bathing, some cold, for drinking. And the women had supplies and resources that had been salvaged from the shipwreck, both during evacuation and later, as boxes and debris had washed up from the wreckage.

He couldn't forget this island's most important resource, and that was _women_. A whole population of beautiful, scantily-clad women. He understood now why Neji had thought he was going crazy this morning; the five of them were so incredibly gorgeous that his head spun every time he got a look at them. Even Ino, who'd actually managed to _gain_ weight, there was so much food around. It was like he'd died the night of the storm, spent four years in purgatory, and had finally been granted access to heaven. He couldn't be sure if it was just loneliness and sexual frustration that made them all so attractive, or if it was the fact that they traipsed around in these tiny strips of fabric that were apparently meant to represent clothing, showing off cleavage and sun-kissed thighs and hips and smooth, feminine stomachs and, fuck, he was going to have to stop that line of thinking right now. There was no way he'd be able to sneak off and take care of his libido the way the women kept circling.

Speak of the devils, he heard footsteps coming up behind him that were complemented by devious giggles. Naruto asked the question that Shikamaru had longed to put forth himself:

"You ladies here to join us?"

"That's cute, but no," said Ino. "We're here to _help_ you."

"So long as you help me in the way I'm thinking." He grinned and leaned back, crossing arms behind his head.

"You wish," said Sakura. "You're getting a haircut."

"Darn."

Temari passed by Shikamaru on her way around the spring, and it took all of his self-control not to tilt his head back and try to catch a glimpse up her skirt. As it was, the vision of long, tan legs made him feel a little stupid. She kept walking until she was behind Kiba, then she knelt and placed a knife and a clay bowl of something on the rock beside her. Then the other women began distributing themselves behind the men, each with their own clay bowls and knives. At first, there was some confusion about which woman would be with which man; Temari met Shikamaru's gaze, clear intent in her green eyes that let him realize what she was up to. She'd deftly broken up a natural pair, that being Kiba and Hinata, which forced Hinata to pick someone else to work on. She drifted somewhat aimlessly to the right, which put her behind Chouji, and which also forced Ino to stop short and settle in behind Neji. Tenten then sat down near Naruto, and Shikamaru felt Sakura get comfortable on the rock behind him. Temari had definitely shaken things up. Luckily, no one seemed annoyed by the new arrangement; instead, there was a general sense of giddiness among the females. They were happy with the contact and the project. Brilliant.

He felt gentle hands pull all of his hair behind his back, and then fingernails scratched the top of his shoulder. Goosebumps broke out all over his right side.

"Get your hair wet, okay?"

Yes, ma'am. He sank down under the water, letting it close over his head for a moment before sitting up straight again and wiping his eyes. Around him the other guys were doing the same, then the women started scooping some pale goop out of the bowls and slathering it on their hair. He leaned his head all the way back until he could see Sakura smiling at him, her face upside down and the ends of her long, pink braids tickling his chest.

"What is that stuff?" he said.

"I was able to make some detergent," she said. "It's not nice to look at, but it works pretty well."

"Really," he said. "What's the composition?"

She laughed once. "You don't want to know."

He probably didn't. Sakura lifted his head until he was facing forward again, and then he felt some of the contents of the bowl dumped onto his head. He pretended it was shampoo, and she began to scrub his scalp with firm, steady circles and the occasional assistance from her nails. He eyelids got heavy, contentment and pleasure making him melt.

And, as much as he would have liked it to be Temari that was touching him like this, it was nice to be able to watch her from here. She was bent way over to wash Kiba's hair, which gave him an excellent view of her cleavage, and lather from the detergent had somehow gotten flicked up onto her chest, a spray of white suds on golden skin. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She'd always been kind of a babe, if only because of her figure, and her green eyes like a cat, and that tough-chick attitude that got under his skin. But she seemed softer, now, and that softness really enhanced all her other attributes. Maybe it was her hair, long and fluffy and wavy where in the past it had reminded him of a cactus, dangerous and defensive. Maybe it was the hospitable way she'd been treating him all day, so willing to let him hold her hand and relieve a little of his loneliness.

Maybe it was her breasts.

"You know," said Sakura, breaking him out of his reverie, "this would be easier if you had less hair." She pulled it all back behind him and he heard a _snick_. Then dropped the dreaded, natty ends of his hair onto the ground and went back to scrubbing. "Much better."

"Leave me enough to tie up," he said. Then he caught himself. "Please."

"Sure. Anyone have the comb?"

"I have it, Sakura-chan," said Hinata. "Would you like a turn?"

"Yes, please."

"You only have one?" Naruto asked.

"We're lucky we have _that_ one," said Ino. "It was in one of the chests of artifacts that washed up. I'm pretty sure it belonged to the daimyo's great-great-grandmother."

"I'm willing to bet that comb is worth more than I could make in my lifetime," Neji said. Ino shrugged, then went back to work on his hair.

Sakura had Shikamaru rinse out his own hair, then went after it with the comb, picking through to work out the knots. It could have been a painful process, but she wasn't in a hurry. No one was. It was just a leisurely shampoo in the hot spring, and there was no reason it couldn't go on all day. Eventually he and Neji would have to tell the other guys about the no fraternization rule, but not in mixed company like this. Besides, he didn't want to ruin this peaceful mood.

The constant, steady tug on his hair began to lull him to sleep, but eventually Sakura was done picking through and she passed the comb to someone else. Then she surprised him by pouring on more soap and going at it again. She even scrubbed it a _third_ time, then gave it another quick comb-through before finally getting to the actual hair-cutting part. He watched Temari chop off long chunks of Kiba's hair, and Tenten gave Naruto a similar treatment. Ino probably had it the easiest; she was able to take one measured whack at Neji's hair and be done. Hinata leaned over Chouji's shoulder get his attention.

"Chouji-kun, do you want me to cut a lot?"

He smiled at her, eyes wide with gratitude. "Whatever you think is best."

"Okay."

Sakura took the knife to his hair a few more times, then ran her fingers through it with little flicking motions.

"What do you think?"

It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't talking to him, and the other women answered her with statements of approval. He expected that to be the end of it, but Sakura settled in behind him, placing one leg on either side of him and letting her feet dangle in the water.

Then the massage began.

He wasn't sure which to be more excited about, the strong hands kneading his shoulders, or the inner thighs that were warm against his arms and back. All he knew was that he was probably wearing a very dopey expression right now. Temari caught his gaze, her eyebrow quirking a bit as she contemplated Sakura. She wasn't jealous, was she?

Maybe she was. A moment later, Temari was wrapped around Kiba in a similar fashion, hands working the muscles in his neck. He groaned audibly and his head fell forward.

"Hell, yeah," he said. "Best haircut, ever."

Temari tossed a smirk Shikamaru's way, and he was annoyed to discover that he was a little jealous, too.

"Geez," said Tenten. She was rubbing Naruto's shoulders, now, and he looked as stupid as Shikamaru felt. "Sleeping on a boat really messed you guys up."

"Yeah, it sucked," Naruto said. "I kept wanting to jump into the ocean and end the misery."

"It was worth it, though," said Chouji.

"I think we'd better enjoy this while we can, boys," said Kiba. "They can't possibly stay this nice to us forever."

Temari gave him a teasing tug of his hair. "Be nice to us, and we'll be nice to you."

Suddenly Kiba grinned, and all Shikamaru's warning bells went off. But before he could say anything, before he could even _blink_, Kiba reached behind him and grabbed her around the shoulders with one arm.

"Nice like this?"

He pulled her hard to the left, one of her legs flying into the air as she fell into spring with a splash. Shikamaru felt his jaw drop. Shit. Someone was going to die. _Kiba_ was going to die, right here, right now, and there probably wouldn't be a recognizable body left to bury.

Temari thrashed around for a moment before jumping to her feet, shock and irritation twisting her features. But Shikamaru was distracted by the way water poured down her body, the tiny skirt clinging to her curves, and since she was facing partially away from him he could see the faintest hint of that sexy curve where ass met thigh.

Bam. Instant boner.

Neji glanced quickly away, nostrils flared and jaw clenched. Chouji had gone tomato red, and Naruto was staring openly, eyes bugging out of his head. Temari reached around and plucked her skirt down over her hips, but the damage was done.

"What the hell, Inuzuka!" Temari said. "Are you crazy?"

"Like a fox."

"This top is leather, butt head! Now it's going to shrink!"

A lecherous grin crawled over his face. "Right on."

She growled loudly, then sat down in the middle of the spring so that the water was covering her shoulders. "I'd pummel you right now if I didn't think you'd get off on it."

"Probably."

"Shut up."

For some reason, Shikamaru had an urge to laugh. He snorted a bit, and once that was out he couldn't hold back the rest of it. More voices joined his, and when Shikamaru made eye contact with Naruto a silent agreement passed between the two of them. One woman in the spring was not enough.

He reached back and grabbed Sakura at the same time that Naruto got an arm around Tenten, and with two screams and a giant splash the girls disappeared below the surface. Before they could emerge, he leaned over and clamped a hand around Ino's wrist. Her eyes were wide, pleading, but he just grinned at her before yanking her in.

By now there was a trio of spluttering, pissed females in the middle with Temari, and only Hinata was still perched on one of the boulders. Kiba made a grab for her, but she displayed Hyuuga-like quickness in dodging him, then stoically stepped down into the spring on her own and sat between him and Chouji. The look on her face, prim and slightly offended at what had _almost_ happened, was enough to crack everyone up, even the women.

_Hysterics_, warned a part of his brain. _Mass hysteria, brought on by post-traumatic stress and a sudden spike in adrenaline_-

_Shut up, moron, _said another part, one that he'd thought was long-dead. _It's _happiness_._

O O O

With the girls in the onsen, it was no longer possible to totally break up teammates. But there was still some randomness involved and Shikamaru found himself between Tenten and Ino. Having Tenten to his right was dangerous, as she had the highest chest-to-shirt ratio and his eyes kept getting drawn down there no matter how many times he yanked them away.

"You guys are such jerks," she said. "After all we did for you..."

Shikamaru nodded, in total agreement with her boobs.

"_Shikamaru_," Ino said, and he felt her fingers grab his jaw and turn his face toward her. He thought he was about to get in trouble for unintentional ogling, but she rubbed his chin with her thumb and smirked. "What's the deal with this stuff on your face?"

Naruto snickered. "That's his babe radar. Took him four years to grow enough for it to work."

She wrinkled her nose cutely. "It's just _adorable_."

This was all very hilarious. Of the guys, he'd been the last to start growing facial hair, and even now it was not much more than dark fuzz on his chin with goatee aspirations. It was a source of particular humor among the other men.

"Be careful, Ino," Chouji said. He grinned and stroked his jaw, which was covered by coarse, auburn hair. "Shikamaru's beard gets self-conscious if you tease it in front of all the others."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"So, I'm curious," said Kiba. "Did any of our stuff survive?"

There were conspiratorial smiles among the females.

"We had your backpacks with us when we were evacuated," said Temari.

"I know," said Kiba, "but is any of it left?"

Hinata turned shining eyes on him. "It's all left, Kiba-kun. We couldn't bring ourselves to open any of them."

Shikamaru straightened, and he could feel the attention of the other men pulled into sharp focus. His pack. His pack had made it, and left untouched. Unbelievable. There was _so_ much stuff in there, stuff he never thought he would see again. Menial things that he hadn't thought twice about packing, but that he'd missed sorely during their isolation. His toothbrush. Asuma's lighter. Holy shit, there was _underwear_ in that bag!

"Really?" said Chouji. "You have all of them?"

Hinata nodded, smiling.

"You want them?" said Temari.

"Yeah, that'd be great..."

"No problem," she said. She leaned back against one of the boulders and swirled her fingers through the surface of the water. "But there's a catch."

Chouji's brows furrowed, suddenly suspicious. "Like what?"

"You guys have to give us privacy while we do some bathing of our own."

This was met by shifty looks from the men, all of whom would probably much rather be here watching the girls get naked than digging through some old backpacks. But Shikamaru saw this for what it was, which was an effort on Temari's part to divide the sexes long enough so that they could all have "the talk." So he nodded his agreement, somewhat mechanically, as his body and brain were in direct contradiction on this point.

"Okay," he said, then ignored the pointed glares shot toward him by some of the guys. "Where are they?"

"I left them at the mouth of that stream, near camp," Sakura said. "Do you remember? I put some bowls of soap there, too, if you guys want to..." She turned slightly pink, but her mouth curled up in a smirk. "...you know. Clean anything else."

"We remember," Neji said. "Thank you."

Silence for a moment, before Shikamaru realized the girls were expecting them to leave _now_. And apparently not concerned with the fact that they were still buck naked. It had been one thing when the women were way out by the forest, watching from afar, but now they were a lot closer. And the guys were going to have to _climb_ out...

"Okay," Naruto said. "Let's see some eye-covering going on."

Hinata immediately obeyed, not only hiding her face in her hands, but then leaning forward until her long bangs brushed the surface of the water. The other girls, with much reluctant grumbling, crossed over to her side of the onsen and clapped hands over their eyes.

Shikamaru wasn't sure he trusted Ino, whose fingers looked a little too far apart, but he swallowed his pride and turned around, then hopped out as quickly as he could. He waited for a giggle, a chuckle, but heard nothing.

One after the other, the men got out of the onsen. Shikamaru made a grab for his shorts, but a cleared throat drew his attention. He glanced back over his shoulder at Temari, who still had her eyes covered, but whose lips were twitching.

"By the way," she said, "you can leave your old clothes here. We're going to wash them for you."

Kiba snorted. "Of course you are."

"Hurry along now," said Tenten. "We have grooming to do."

They abandoned their clothes and started back toward the trees, and after a minute Shikamaru heard the gentle splashing of girls moving through the water. There was a low whistle, followed by several more catcalls, and they all burst into laughter. He looked back to see them lined up along the near side of the onsen, peeking over the boulders as the guys walked away. And right before he stepped into the forest, he heard Temari yell after them:

"Hate to see you go, boys!"

Then a chorus of, "But we love to watch you leave!"

O O O

Temari kept her eyes on the men until they disappeared between the trees, then sighed to herself and slipped back into the water. Goddamn. Shikamaru's ass was so sexy she wanted to push him down in the dirt and sink her teeth into one of his cheeks. She'd pretty much decided that he was the one for her, and, having made this decision, it went completely against her nature to then turn around and tell herself that she would have to wait. The ability to _wait_ for what she wanted did not exist in the makeup of her personality.

But she had to set an example for the other women, and follow her own rules. It was probably hypocritical that she was about to encourage them to take it easy on the guy-choosing when _she_ had already made up her mind to snag Nara, but there was a reason Temari was the leader of this group, and it wasn't just that she'd been a jounin, or that she was the oldest. She was the leader because she was both decisive _and_ logical. Shikamaru had the qualities she wanted in a mate. Intelligence. Foresight. A sense of humor, albeit a dry one. And let's not forget about that ass.

What was left to contemplate?

O O O

The packs were right where the girls had promised they'd be: near the place where the spring-fed stream trickled down through the sand to join the ocean. It took Shikamaru a minute to figure out which one was his, as they were all made from the same standard-issue green canvas, but while rummaging through them he happened upon one with an ink stain on the bottom, and it jogged his memory of the time a bottle of the stuff had leaked and bled through. He grabbed this pack as the other guys sorted out the rest between them, then headed a few meters upstream. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted solitude as he picked through the remainders of his old life.

He got to his knees and placed the pack in front of him, then unwound the leather strap that held it together. Already, he was taking the pack apart in his head, thinking of more functional ways he could use the material it was made from. This leather strap could be good for tent-making, or any number of things. But for now he left it alone and opened the flap, then peered into the pack.

At first all he saw was black fabric, and it turned out to be one of the long-sleeved shirts he'd worn as part of his uniform. He shook it out and looked it over, amazed that there had ever been a time when he'd cared about covering his chest. He smelled it, curious to know if it had been clean or dirty, but it was merely musty from being crammed into an old pack for four years. Knowing him, though, it was probably dirty.

The shirt was accompanied by a pair of pants, the ancestors of the shorts he'd left behind with the women. Except that these still had their button, and the zipper still moved cleanly up and down. He put his hand into one of the pockets and fabric actually stopped him, rather than his fingers passing right through a gaping hole. He put them on just to have something covering his ass.

Next ran up against not one, not two, but _three _pair of underwear in dark colors. These he did not smell; he intended to wash the whole lot, anyway. Likewise, he didn't sniff the eight wadded up tube socks. He also found the two white t-shirts, both emblazoned with his clan symbol on the front, and the navy blue shorts he'd used for pajamas. There were no more clothes. But when he laid them out in the sand and took it all in at once, he could hardly believe that he had two full sets, and an extra t-shirt to boot. Not only that, but he'd have a long-sleeved shirt to wear on those rare nights in winter when it got chilly. Such decadence.

He felt around in the pack, and pulled out an ornate wooden box that held his medical kit. The Nara symbol was inlaid on the top in darker wood, and inside the box was everything he would need to make two dozen different medicines, poisons, and antidotes. Powdered deer antler. Dried herbs. A glass vial that contained the gills of some very black and very deadly mushrooms. He could see his mother, bent over a mortar and pestle as she tirelessly turned each of those things into a useable consistency. And he could see her packing the kit, making sure each tiny glass bottle was well-sealed with its tiny cork. She'd always bitched about it when he accidentally left it behind.

There were a few weapons in the pack, nothing different than what they already had, but at least now they would have more of them. He found his pocket knife, and a weird little chunk of wood that he'd been attempting to whittle during their days of boredom on the ship. And he also discovered, luxury of luxuries, some scrolls, an ink well, and a pen. In the very bottom of the bag was a sea of detritus, which wasn't too surprising considering he'd been loathe to ever clean it out. A small flashlight that no longer worked, probably because the batteries had died. Extra leg wraps. Notes, lists, and other disintegrated pieces of paper. Somewhere in the mess he found Asuma's lighter and the half-pack of cigarettes that he'd never finished, but had never quite been able to throw away. In a moment of masochism he tapped out one of the ancient cigarettes, then lit it and took a drag of hot, stale smoke that made his throat burn like fire and tears spring to his eyes. It was, hands down, the most disgusting thing he'd ever put in his mouth. He clenched it between his back teeth and returned to the investigation.

He'd been through everything in the main section, but there was still a pouch on the front that he hadn't checked. He popped open the flap and pulled out a zippered, deerskin bag. There was a split second before memory clicked into place, then he realized he was holding Dad's travel case. He'd borrowed it when he'd been unable to find his own, amid Mom's warnings "not to lose it or he'd catch hell," and chucked his toiletries into it right before heading out the door.

He unzipped it and found the real treasure of the entire pack. His toothbrush and toothpaste. A hairbrush and a couple of spare hair ties. _Deodorant_. For some stupid reason, more moisture formed in his eyes when he opened the deodorant and took a sniff. It was earthy and clean, and even though he knew it was the same brand Mom had bought for him since he was twelve, it was no longer a smell he associated with himself. No, this scent belonged to Dad. It always had, from the time Shikamaru was young enough to want to climb up into his lap, or ride on his back when they headed out to the deer paddocks. The only thing he needed to make it complete was a whiff of strong sake.

He closed the deodorant with some reverence, then put it back in the case. And that was it. His life, the entire existence of a Konoha chuunin named Nara Shikamaru, summed up into the contents of one dirty, canvas pack. Work, hobbies, memories. It was at once sobering and overwhelming.

He glanced up at his friends, saw them scattered all around the stream in various states of dress as they dug through their bags. He'd expected to see a smile on at least one face, but the only one that was dry was Neji's, and even his was as solid as stone with carefully suppressed emotion. Naruto was blubbering, tears streaming down his face in a way that might have looked comical in juxtaposition with the weird sleeping hat he was wearing, except that Shikamaru understood the source of his pain. He'd been the one most adamant about getting back to Konoha, insisting on working on it long after the rest of them had lost heart, and even though he'd eventually stopped talking about it Shikamaru knew that it had never been far from his thoughts.

Kiba was also crying, something small and metal dangling from his hand. Until this day, Shikamaru had never seen him shed a tear. And Chouji was lying on his back in the sand, tears dripping into his hair, arms wrapped around the pack on his chest. He respected their privacy, and left them alone to work out their grief.

He got rid of the nasty cigarette, and set to work washing the clothes one piece at a time in the stream, scrubbing them thoroughly before wringing them out and laying them on rocks to let them dry in the sun. After that, he located the bowls of detergent Sakura had mentioned, grabbed one for himself, and set about having a _real_ bath. He washed himself by the stream, paying fastidious attention to every single area that dirt or stink might hide. He cleaned under his nails and trimmed them with his pocket knife. He scrubbed the soles of his feet in the sand until they were shiny and pink. He reveled in little miracles: the minty taste of toothpaste and smooth, clean teeth. The feeling of having his hair tied up off his neck. And it was so hot outside that by the time he was done with this some of his lighter clothes were essentially dry, so he added the comforting restrictiveness of underwear to that list. He slipped on one of the white t-shirts and the blue shorts that used to be his night clothes, and left the heavier, black uniform stuff out to dry some more. _Damn_, he felt good. And he knew he had to _look_ good, compared to the slob that had climbed off the boat this morning.

"Oi! Shikamaru!"

He glanced over to see the guys huddled together near Neji, all signs of sadness gone. They were fully dressed and grinning from ear to ear, and Kiba waved something at him that he couldn't quite make out.

"What?"

"Neji has a razor, man! And a whole pack of blades! He's going to let us-" He stopped suddenly, then gave an overly-dramatized snicker. "Wait, why am I telling _you_ this?"

Shikamaru gestured at him in a way that made him him laugh even louder, then he busied himself with putting everything back in his pack. He waited while the guys took turns with the razor, only slightly consoled by the fact that no one but Neji knew what he was doing, especially without a mirror. But they got done with minimal bloodshed, and just as they were packing up they heard female laughter echoing toward them from upstream. The women were coming, and there was still a law to lay down. It was now or never.

Neji stood up and straightened his shoulders in a way that got everyone's attention, and they glanced up at him, waiting.

"I need to make you all aware that, in the interest of community stability, there's not going to be any sex for at least a week. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but..." His eyes fell on Shikamaru for a second, and Shikamaru got the distinct feeling that he was reciting a speech that he'd convinced himself he needed to give. "...it's necessary. This rule extends to overtly romantic or sexual behavior that alienates those involved from the rest of the population, either physically or emotionally."

"Um..." Naruto raised his hand. "Explain that last bit to me again?"

"We're going to keep our relationships with the women platonic for now," Neji said.

Naruto was starting to catch on, and his brows furrowed in a obviously displeased way. "But, _why_? I mean, did you _see_ them?"

Neji nodded once, stiffly. "I saw them."

"Then..."

"We can't afford to test out new relationships with sex, only to discover we're poorly matched," Neji said. "This is a very small community. In my opinion, the only way for us to thrive is to choose the woman you think will make the best mate and stay with her. Take care of her. There's nowhere to go if a partnership turns sour."

"That _is_ what I would do," said Naruto. "I don't want to sleep with a lot of women. Just one."

"Then you should think carefully about which one you want to keep waking up with."

After a moment, Naruto gave a pensive nod.

Chouji rubbed the back of his neck. "So, no making out either?"

"No," said Neji.

His face fell. "A week is a long time."

Neji smiled grimly. "Try and think of this from the women's point of view. It would be easy to take advantage of them now, but they're not here for our convenience."

Through all of this, Shikamaru kept waiting for the explosion that would be Kiba. If anyone was going to cause trouble about this, it would be him. But Kiba sat cross-legged in the sand, jaw tight as he twirled a short stick between his fingers.

"Kiba?" he said.

Kiba glanced up quickly, eyes flickering around like a wild animal that had been cornered. He wouldn't meet Shikamaru's gaze.

"You alright?" Shikamaru said.

"Fine," he said. He took a long, steadying breath, then nodded. "It's a good idea."

He couldn't help but voice his disbelief. "Really?"

"Yeah. You know..." He scratched his head. "Hinata needs to be protected from pricks like the four of you." He bared one fang quickly, before letting the smile fall.

Shikamaru had a feeling there was only one prick Kiba was worried about, and he took that as a good sign. Kiba might feel drawn to Hinata, but maybe it struck him as unnatural and he wanted to put a stop to it. Or at least hold off on it for now.

"Right," he said.

Neji gave an opportunity for any other questions to be asked, but there were none, so they shouldered their packs and began heading upstream. That's when the women came into view.

Shikamaru's heart literally skipped a beat, and it was nothing like they made it sound in stupid novels. There was an uncomfortable, sinking feeling in his chest as air left him, seconds ticking by as he waited for that next, all-important pulse, only his entire being was concentrated on the radiant women before him and couldn't be bothered with involuntary functions.

His vision tunneled, focused only on the creature in the middle that was absolutely glowing. Finally his heart caught up, tripping, beating three, four, five times in quick succession before settling down to normal. Temari smirked and walked toward him, the rest of the girls trailing behind. She held out his old pants, and once she was close enough he took them from her.

"You clean up nice," she said.

"You..." He choked, laughed once to cover it up. How had this happened? How could she possibly be so much more beautiful than she was this morning? Her hair was the same, her clothes were the same, but she was _ethereal_. Unreal. "You did something different?"

She grinned and leaned in, as if preparing to divulge a big secret.

"I shaved."

His eyes darted to her legs, which were, indeed, smooth and perfectly golden. He thought they had been before, but now they were somehow...incredibly..._better_.

"It's nice," he managed to say. Why the fuck had they banned sex again?

The meeting between the men and women was slightly awkward at first, and he assumed everyone was embarrassed about the startling light that had been cast onto the issue of sex. But things warmed quickly, and they were back to chatting and laughing and poking at each other in no time. It was interesting to see that the women seemed to be deliberately giving their attention to different men than they had before. Very interesting. It was also interesting to see Kiba avoiding Hinata, which must be hard for them both. But Hinata seemed content to talk with Chouji and Naruto.

Temari made the announcement that it was time to head back to camp for lunch, and the group began slowly but steadily drifting that way. In the process, she caught Shikamaru's wrist and let everyone else get a little ahead. It was obvious that she just wanted to talk, but the thought of being alone with her was so arousing that it was scary.

"How did it go?"

His wrist hung in her grip, and sweat broke out on his palms. "Better than I expected," he said. "What about the girls?"

Temari shook her head, bemused. "They're not happy. I think it's because they're not going to get to play kissy-face for a while."

"Yeah."

She released his wrist, but she was walking close enough to him that he could feel the heat from her skin, and catch a whiff of her hair when a breeze hit her just right. She kept her eyes straight ahead, but she smiled.

"I'm glad _you _didn't shave," she said.

The truth was out before he could stop it. "As long as it took me to grow this?"

She laughed. "You smell incredible, just so you know." Her voice was low enough that he suspected, _hoped_, that arousal had as much to do with it as an attempt to keep their conversation private.

"So do you," he said, and it was true. She smelled like _woman_.

"Is that mint I detect?"

"Toothpaste."

She nodded appreciatively, a smirk playing on her lips. "I might have to experience that for myself. You know. In a week." Her pinky brushed his, lightly but intentionally, and before he knew it he had a hold of her hand.

"You can experience it right now," he said.

She looked at him askance. "That would kind of contradict your 'no kissing' rule, don't you think?"

They were passing a tree with a rather wide trunk, and he pulled Temari behind it. He waited for everyone else to be completely out of sight, then caught her by the shoulders and held her there. Her eyes widened.

"I didn't have _us_ in mind when I came up with that rule," he said. "We were never teammates."

Her eyes went from wide to narrow at the word "us." "I know that," she said. "But we still need to set an example-"

He could barely hear what she was saying. He didn't _care_ what she was saying. All he wanted was her mouth, her body, and now that he knew she was interested, too, nothing else mattered. They didn't need to wait. No one else had to know.

Desperate, aching with hunger, he leaned down to kiss her. But she snaked a hand between them a covered his mouth with her fingers, then quirked a warning eyebrow.

"Calm down, stud. Don't do something that's going to make me slap you."

He was forced to mumble against her fingers. "Why does there need to be slapping? It's just a kiss..."

"Right," she said. "And then it's _just_ groping me, then _just_ taking off my clothes..."

He shivered at the thought, desire for her racing through his body and pushing him toward her again. "I can't help it, Temari..."

She covered his mouth more firmly, all traces of humor gone. "You'd better figure out _how_ to help it. It's your self-control that makes you sexy. This pushing me around thing...not so much."

Damn it. She was right. He couldn't believe he was being this aggressive with a woman when she was trying to stop him. But it felt like he was tearing away from half of his own body when he stepped back and gave her some space.

"Sorry," he said.

She watched him without blinking. "It's alright," she said. "I probably shouldn't have encouraged you."

It was nice of her to bear some of the responsibility, but he shook his head. "This is my own problem. As you said, I'll have to figure out how to control myself." He took a deep breath, then let it slowly escape between his lips. "For one more week."

She was still studying him, like she wasn't sure _what _to think of him. "Are you going to make it?"

He crossed his arms, embarrassed and frustrated. "I think I _have_ to."

She smiled and reached toward him with a hand; he wasn't sure exactly what she was planning to do, but she seemed to change her mind and punched him on the arm instead.

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

Thanks for reading! And please review...it refills my HP!


	3. The One With Matching TShirts

**Chapter Three:**

**The One With Two T-Shirts**

The crackling fire smelled good, but even better was the thick, tangy scent of a trio of rabbits roasting above it. They were pierced perfectly down the middle with a stake, and the girls gave them a spin now and then so that they would cook evenly. Fat dripped into the fire and sent small flare-ups to lick at the rabbits, and although Kiba was aware that drooling wasn't exactly going to bring the women flocking, he couldn't help but salivate like a puppy with his first rawhide. Meat. In Konoha, meat had been a staple of every meal. On the old island, however, it was nonexistent. Plenty of fish, for sure, if you counted fish. Kiba counted them as a vegetable. Smelled too much like seaweed. Rabbit, though, smelled like _food_, and as far as he was concerned it didn't need to be cooked another moment in order to be delicious. But not everyone liked their rabbit tartar. He could understand that.

Pussies.

Movement from the other side of the pit caught his attention, and he glanced up before he could stop himself. Pale eyes flicked up to him for a moment before falling again, lips twitched with gentle humor. _She_ knew what he was thinking. _She_ knew it was a constant battle with himself to keep from snatching that stake up right this minute and treating it like his own personal shish-ka-bob. But what she didn't know was that, compared to the overwhelming scent of pheromones pumped out of five horny women, he didn't really give a flying fuck about those rabbits. Even her. Holy shit. He'd never smelled anything like that coming from Hinata back in Konoha, and he'd sure as hell never had it intensify like that when she looked at _him_. She was shy, as always. And sweet, and too nervous to look him in the eye for very long. But she used to smell so innocent. Light and flowery, blooming warmly whenever Naruto was in the vicinity, no response whatsoever to Shino or himself. Not anymore. Now she was potent and musky like all the women, their bodies overreacting to the sudden presence of males by turning into petite pheromone factories designed to render men brainless. She wasn't a little girl anymore.

And she trusted him, above all the other men. Of all of them, _he_ was the one she was most comfortable with. _He_ was the one she wouldn't be afraid of. And that was terrifying. Some part of his brain desperately wanted to interpret that as a lack of competition, to move in and take advantage of the woman that could become _his_ with no effort at all. Even though it was wrong. Even though Hinata was the one girl he shouldn't want. But she was so beautiful. Firelight reflected in her dark hair, warmed her face and chest, made her seem so soft and approachable and vulnerable. And she was, god damn it. She _was_.

Shikamaru appeared from nowhere and took a seat beside Kiba on the fallen log. He brought with him a basket that was woven out of palm fronds and filled with various fruits and berries, and he put it on the ground in front of him. Around the fire, laughing, celebratory voices drifted up into the sky with the smoke. Shikamaru sighed.

"Gift from the women," he said, gesturing to the basket.

The berries looked good, and Kiba popped a small cluster of them into his mouth. They burst open as he chewed, juicy and incredibly sweet, yet still with that dark, tangy edge that made them irresistible. He ate a couple more, was licking juice from his lips when he caught another glimpse of lavender eyes, looking right at him. He swallowed and looked away.

"And this is from Sakura," Shikamaru said. He held out a clay jar with a cork stopper and Kiba took it.

"What is it?"

"Take a whiff."

He popped out the cork and got nowhere near the mouth of the jar before alcohol overwhelmed his senses. What did they use this for, cleaning wounds?

"They make the stuff," Shikamaru said. "Leave it around to ferment, then drink it. They thought we might want some."

Kiba contemplated ingesting something that would screw around with his inhibitions. He decided to put the cork back in. He shoved the jar down into the sand while Shikamaru nodded his understanding and stared out beyond the fire. The guy managed to look half-asleep and completely alert at the same time. Kiba followed his gaze until it landed on Temari, watched her uncross and recross her legs, fire flickering against her thighs and the shadow from her tiny skirt languoring between them. Shikamaru never blinked, but his throat contracted and his jaw tightened, and the burst of hormones under his skin hit Kiba in the face like a bag of rocks.

"They're not making it easy, are they?" Kiba said, to which Shikamaru gave one, weary laugh.

"Nope. I'd say they're experts at making it hard." Then the corner of his mouth turned up, and Kiba had to laugh, too.

"I don't think I can do this," he said, before realizing that he'd probably said too much. But Shikamaru nodded.

"Try not to think about her."

"You don't know what you're talking about. The way she smells..." He scratched the back of his head, frustrated. He felt like a depraved, perverted asshole for wanting to do anything to Hinata that she would regret later, no matter how intoxicating her pheromones were. And she _would_ regret it. They both would. She didn't love him; he didn't know if she still loved Naruto, but she certainly didn't love _him_. And for a girl like her, that would be everything. He refused to violate that. "The way they _all_ smell, man. You have no idea."

Shikamaru was still watching Temari, a little dazed.

"I guess I don't."

He was going about this all wrong. He was trying too hard to _not_ think of Hinata, when there were four other perfectly good women that he could be focusing his attention on. He needed to get to know them. Do some flirting. Maybe he'd luck out and get to spend the rest of the week all tied up in sexual knots over some other chick.

With this new motivation, he snagged the little clay jar out of the sand, popped out the cork, and knocked back a drink before he could smell it and change his mind. It burned like fire and opened up his sinuses; he sniffed a couple of times before recorking the bottle and handing it to Shikamaru.

"How was it?" Shikamaru asked.

"Ask me when I can breathe again." He got to his feet and ran his fingers through his newly-cut hair, then made his way over to a cluster of women. Sakura, Tenten and Ino watched him approach with sparkling eyes, and he said a silent thanks to Sakura for the booze. He couldn't smell a thing.

"So," he said. He sat down cross-legged in the sand among them. "What are pretty ladies like you doing on an island like this?" It was the lamest line in the history of pick-up lines, but there was no point in pretenses. Every single one of them knew why he was here. They smirked at each other and Sakura bit her lip before answering.

"Probably waiting for some pretty boys to come along."

"Damn," he said. "I guess I'll hunt down Shikamaru and Neji for you. Give me a sec." He pretended to get up, but six hands grabbed him and pulled him back down. The girls were laughing. A mild "very funny" wafted from Shikamaru's direction.

"Did you try the wine?" Sakura said.

"Oh, is that what that stuff was? Thought it was turpentine."

"It's been sitting around for a while. It can get pretty strong."

He gave a dramatic sniff. "No problem, babe. If you can dish it out, I can take it."

She blushed, which _had_ to be the effect of hormones because Sakura-in-Konoha would have punched his lights out for such audacity. And it looked good on her. Shit, _everything_ looked good on her. Everything looked good on _all_ of them. They were an island full of smoking-hot foxes, and all he had to do was pick one. This wasn't going to be so bad.

He smiled at Sakura, then sought out a new pair of eyes: wood brown ones that belonged to Tenten. Her coloring was warm and natural, and there was something about the way she wore the animal skins, more comfortable in them than the other girls, that made her seem like she'd been born to live in the wilderness and provide for herself. He got an image of her running through the woods, chasing one of those rabbits with a spear or a kunai, and then tossing the weapon away as she leaped onto the animal instead. She took it down with teeth and nails, a wild gleam of victory in her eyes as she worried the carcass. He caught himself smiling and Tenten raised a curious eyebrow at his expression.

"How's dinner coming?" he asked.

"Oh," she said. She brushed some of her long, brown hair back behind her shoulder and shrugged, as if providing meat for the entire party was no big deal. "Almost done. A few more minutes, maybe."

"Thanks for catching them," he said. She brightened, seemed prepared to go off on a favored topic, but fingers brushed down over his collarbone, dipped into his shirt, and he glanced over to see Ino tracing the necklace he was wearing. It wasn't anything fancy, just a beaded chain made out of some cheap metal. But she unearthed the real treasure when she withdrew the tiny, metal tags that had been dangling behind his t-shirt, right against his chest.

"What are these?"

A lump formed in his throat, but he swallowed it down and made himself grin for her benefit.

"Nothing important," he said. "Just Akamaru's puppy tags. Found them in the bottom of my pack."

"Oh, my god," she said, and they all squealed like they'd discovered something fluffy and adorable instead of worn old military tags.

"That's so sweet," said Sakura.

Then they were on their knees, leaning over in front of him so they could see the tags, and they passed them from one hand to the next, the chain still around his neck. Firelight lapped at their chests and shoulders, accentuating the curve of their necks, the swell of six beautiful tits.

"I can't believe you kept them," Tenten said. "That's kind of girly."

He laughed, even as a spark of anger flared up in defense of his best friend, the other half of him. "No, it's no big deal. They were just in there, so..."

"It's not _girly_," said Ino, indignant. She dipped down to get a better look and he goggled at the new, improved view. But then she glanced up again, and all of the sudden his field of vision was taken up by enormous, blue irises. "It's actually really loyal."

He blinked, and he felt a genuine grin creep onto his face. He sensed opportunity and he took advantage of it. "Yeah, well, loyalty is one of my assets." He ran his tongue over one of his canines. "But it's not the biggest one."

Ino drew back slightly as if shocked, and the moment hung there while he waited to see if she'd get offended, have herself a little Ino-tantrum. He watched her internal struggle, but good humor ultimately won out and she grinned back, half-incredulous, half-amused.

"You're a piece of work."

He just smirked. She could say what she wanted, but she couldn't hide that spike in her adrenaline, or the quickened rush of blood in her veins, or the warmth that flushed her face as she leaned forward to pick up the tags again, intentionally letting her fingers graze his skin. She could act arrogant, but her body gave her away.

It was mistake to think of her body, when she was so close that to wouldn't take any effort at all to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into his lap, make her straddle him right here in the sand, her skirt shoved out of the way and hot thighs clamped onto his hips like a vise. A mistake, because now he couldn't think of anything else. This sudden response to Ino surprised him a bit, if only because she'd given him more headaches than boners when they were younger, which was no easy feat. But the attitude that had been so annoying on a flat-chested little princess was suddenly a lot more attractive on a grown woman. Or maybe it was the woman that was attractive, and the attitude only offered the promise of a fun chase.

"Ready for some rabbit?" Tenten said.

Kiba started out of his daydream, attempted to remember what a rabbit was. Four-legged creature...furry..._food_.

"Oh, yeah. Bring it on," he said.

"You won't be disappointed," said Sakura. "Tenten's got a knack with game. I can guarantee that it'll be the best meat you've ever put in your mouth."

He couldn't help himself; he flicked his eyes over to Ino and caught her gaze. She stared back at him, reddening like crazy, but not because she was embarrassed. She seemed like she was trying really hard not to laugh, the way her eyes danced and her mouth twitched, and she glanced away, refusing to look at him anymore. Pretending like she didn't know exactly what he was thinking, like her mind hadn't also jumped to the dirtiest possible interpretation of "meat."

Well, too bad, Princess. I've got you all figured out.

**O O O**

They ate the rabbits with fresh fruit and spring water and Sakura's wine. The guys were obviously uncomfortable with the wine, either with the taste or the idea of drinking alcohol at all, but they took polite sips here and there. The girls were a little more liberal with their drinking but, hell, this was a party, and they were used to the stuff by now, anyway. Temari knocked out a jar easy and barely got a buzz.

She wasn't sure what to do with Shikamaru. He kept watching her like a dying man, despite her efforts to keep her distance from him, or to always make sure there was someone else between them. She felt kind of guilty for egging him on this afternoon; she probably shouldn't have given him any indication that she liked him, because it would have been easier for him to keep control of himself if he'd had any doubts at all about whether she would accept his advances. But he'd fooled her, with his new-looking clothes and his clean body. He'd looked so _civilized_, and she'd forgotten for a moment that he was still the sex-starved young male that had been shipwrecked for four years. And, dear god, she'd never realized what an aphrodisiac a good deodorant could be. She wanted to eat him for dessert. With whipped cream. Hell, yes.

But she had to take it easy on him, for his sake. This was something that some of the other girls clearly hadn't figured out. They were constantly looking for excuses to touch the men, which would be innocent enough on its own if it weren't for the fact that the guys looked like starving jaguars. Was she the only one with any sense of self-preservation around here? It was a wonder Konoha kunoichi survived their first years as genin, let alone made it to chuunin level. Promotion standards must be lower in Fire.

They stayed up until the moon rose, which wasn't _that_ late, but the boys were exhausted. They nodded where they sat, eyes half-open, and the girls finally had to accept that the party was over. Temari sprinkled sand on the fire until it was just a red glow, and then she let the guys wander off into the woods to pee while the girls made pallets for them nearby.

"They're so sexy," Tenten said, as she rolled out one of the old blankets. "Were they always that sexy back home?"

"They weren't _men_ back at home," Sakura said.

"No kidding," said Ino. She was currently fluffing one of the "pillows" that was just grass stuffed into a fabric pouch. They were notoriously lumpy and only slightly more comfortable than sleeping on the hard ground. "They were creeps."

"They weren't creeps, either," said Sakura. "And that sounded stupid coming from someone who spent all her time with Shikamaru and Chouji. They're pretty much the antithesis of creepy."

Tenten straightened, a humorous glint in her eye. "I don't know. Shikamaru's a _little_ creepy. Did you see the way he was staring at Temari?"

Titters from the peanut gallery, and Temari sighed as she tried to figure out a way to fold the material she was holding for maximum comfort.

"Yeah, about that," she said. "That's probably my fault."

This raised eyebrows, and there were of course demands for an explanation. But Temari waved them away. "Just trust me. You're going to have to learn to watch what you say to these guys if you don't want to end up constantly watching your back. And keep your hands to yourselves. It'll be hard enough as it is for them to wait a whole week for sex."

This led to an energetic and giggly conversation about what the guys might be like in bed. It wasn't a conversation that Temari necessarily _wanted_ to take part in, but she found herself drawn in each time a smart-ass retort came to her and begged to be shared.

"You think he'll wear the hat?" Temari said, when the conversation turned to Naruto, and Sakura got a dreamy, and slightly disturbing, look on her face.

"I don't think I care."

Hysterical laughter from Tenten and Ino, but Temari recognized the need to redirect Sakura's thoughts to some other male.

"What about Neji?"

The laughter died as everyone went suddenly thoughtful. What _would_ Neji be like? He was so stoic and self-contained that it was hard to tell, but Temari sensed that his demeanor pointed to one of two options: either he was a cold fish, or he was one of those still-waters guys that hid a surprising amount of passion. In the old days, she probably would have leaned toward the fish thing. But now she had to question that assumption. He seemed much more alive, if only a little more sociable, than he had in Konoha, and the desperate fire that burned behind his eyes only looked hotter for how tightly he had it contained. Suddenly, it felt way too warm out here near the pit, and she began to sweat under the stupid rabbit skin. How she longed to tear this thing off and get rid of it forever, especially now that it had shrunk so much. It was crushing her ribcage.

"I guess we'll find out in a week," said Ino.

Tenten gave her an odd look. Jealousy, maybe? "Well, _one_ of us will, anyway."

"No way. That's not good enough. Whoever ends up with Neji has to spill to the whole group. It's going to drive me crazy wondering."

This seemed to satisfy Tenten, but Sakura laughed, surprised and embarrassed. "Oh, and are you planning to share all the details of whatever guy _you_ end up with?"

"Of course," said Ino, as if she'd never considered any other option. "I think we all should."

There was a perverted, curious little part of Temari's brain that secretly agreed with her, so she kept her mouth shut and let Sakura do all the arguing. Tenten ended up siding with Ino, though, and since Hinata was totally silent, not to mention beet-red, Sakura found herself in the minority. She turned to Temari, eyes blazing.

"What do you think?"

Temari didn't let herself grin. "I don't think anyone should _have_ to spill anything. But I don't have a problem with it."

"Nice," Ino said. "Three to two."

"It's not three to two," Sakura said. "It's two to two. Temari abstained."

"I'm slightly in favor," Temari admitted.

Sakura scowled, but Tenten elbowed her in the ribs.

"You're not shy, are you?"

"_No_. But it's the principle of the thing."

"Aw, come on," said Ino. "You know you're curious. I mean, we can't sleep with all of them. Let's live vicariously." She finished straightening out the pallet she'd made, giving the pillow a happy pat.

The sound of a sniff drew Temari's attention, and she glanced over to see Hinata sitting on a half-made bed, her hands up in front of her face to hide the fact that she was crying. Ino sank to her knees beside her and put a arm around her shoulder.

"What's wrong?" she said.

Hinata shook her head, refusing at first to explain. But after Ino gently prodded and pried, she finally caved.

"It's what you're all talking about," she said, between her fingers.

"The guys?" asked Sakura, at the same time that Ino said, "Sex?" Hinata nodded, then looked up at Temari with pink-rimmed eyes.

"Do we really _have_ to do that in a week?"

She was asking if it was an order. As if Temari would ever _order_ anyone to do something like that. She wanted to laugh at the confusion, but she had a horrible sense of foreboding, that this wasn't going to be easily straightened out.

"A week is how long we have to wait before we _can_," she said.

"I know, but..." Hinata's voice got tiny. "But the way you keep talking about it, it's like everyone's _expecting_ to..."

"No way," said Ino. She brushed some of Hinata's hair behind her ear. "You don't have to do anything until you're ready."

Temari nodded stiffly, but inside she was kind of cursing Ino. Forcing Hinata to have sex with someone would never have occurred to her, but reality was that there were going to be five highly libidinous males thinking with their dicks one week from today, all of them hoping and praying for a bang. And if they caught wind that Hinata was reluctant, their dicks might very well encourage them to look elsewhere. By wanting to wait, Hinata was probably condemning herself to last choice among the males, possibly someone she didn't even want. It was horrible that sex was such an important currency in this game of bartering, but Hinata had to learn to use hers, too. Temari walked over and squatted in the sand beside her, grateful that Ino was doing the job of physically comforting her. That wasn't a skill Temari had ever developed.

"Just so that I'm clear," Temari said, "are you against the idea of sex altogether? Or is it just that it's happening too fast?"

"I'm not against it, but it doesn't feel..." Hinata thought for a moment, her eyes on the ground, before saying. "...it doesn't feel special. How do we know the boys really love us?"

"Well, love is nice, Hinata, but..." She looked around at the other women, unsure of what to say. How could she tell her that the rest of them weren't quite as hung up on the idea of true love as she was? "Right now, I think what we're mostly looking for is partners. We'll learn to love each other eventually."

This, apparently, was not what Hinata wanted to hear. She sobbed once, then covered her face again, her shoulders shaking. Ino glared at Temari as if there were anything she could have said differently.

"What if they change their minds?" Hinata said into her arms. "What if they pick us at first, but then decide they want someone else?"

"That's a risk you take in any relationship," Temari said. "I don't know how you can get around that."

Hinata's eyes appeared above her hands, still full of tears. "Can't I wait until I'm married?"

"You want to get _married_?"

A nod, then her face disappeared again. Temari resisted the urge to groan. Of all the sentimental nonsense. She could sort of understand the desire to marry, but on an island with a population of ten, that seemed pretty pointless. Not to mention impossible. And Tenten took the words right out of her mouth.

"Who the hell is supposed to marry you? It's not like we have a temple and a monk here."

Hinata shrugged without looking up, and Sakura smoothed out the blankets of one pallet before sitting down among the rest of them.

"Temari could probably do it," she said. "Or Neji. Someone with authority. It wouldn't be legal in Konoha, but it could be official on our island. Would that be good enough, Hinata?"

"I think so," Hinata whispered. "The ceremony isn't as important to me as..." She trailed off, embarrassed, and Ino gently rubbed her back.

"You just want a guy to love you enough to commit to you."

"Uh-huh."

Awesome. Add one more complication to the list. But there was nothing unfair about what Hinata was requesting; she was well within her rights to defend her virginity in whatever way she saw fit. The guys were just going to have to deal with it. Whoever wanted to sleep with her would have to marry her.

But Temari wasn't exactly relishing the task of trying to find her a husband.

**O O O**

When they were done setting up a sleeping area for the men, the women took their own little trip into the woods, going east instead of north so as not to run into the guys. Temari had no need of the woods; all she cared about, at the moment, was taking off this goddamned top. She headed into the hut, amused that the men had been gone so long. She could imagine them going in all different directions the minute they got into the trees, desperate for privacy so they could burn the sexual energy that was probably eating them alive...It was actually kind of hot, once she stopped snickering about it.

The top didn't want to come off; it had dried while she was wearing it and conformed like hard plastic to her chest and back. But she pried it loose and held it between two fingers while she tried to decide whether or not she'd be able to get it back on long enough tomorrow to find something to replace it.

"Temari?"

The voice behind her made her start, because it was unexpected, and because it was _male_. Shikamaru. The kunoichi in her made her whirl to face the voice immediately, the woman in her crossed hands over her bare breasts.

"What the f-" she was already saying, but then she realized that she was alone in the hut, that Shikamaru's voice must have come from outside the flimsy curtain that covered the doorway. "Do _not_ come in!"

"Why not?"

"None of your business!" she said, figuring that being honest with him would only spark his interest. "What do you want?"

He sounded exasperated. "I want to come in."

"_No_. Talk to me through the curtain."

He was quiet for a minute, and in that time Temari came to the conclusion that she would have no way to protect herself, if he decided to disobey her. She couldn't lock him out. She could do her level best to beat the crap out of him, but it was very possible that she wouldn't be able to stop him from doing what he wanted in the end. He was so much _bigger_ than her now. For the first time in her life, she was completely at the mercy of a man's depraved conscience.

But he stayed outside the hut, and Temari was spared from having to try and kill him to protect herself. "I just wanted to talk to you in private," he said. "I don't want an audience."

"Are the other guys out there?"

"I'm sure they will be soon," he said.

"Then stay out there and make it quick."

He sighed, then he thrust a hand in around the curtain. She stiffened, prepared for a rape attempt or something, but then she saw that there was a white t-shirt dangling from his fingers.

"I have two," he said. "And it would make my life a lot easier if you would wear one of them."

She inched over toward the curtain, still holding her boobs with one arm so she could snatch the t-shirt away with the other. Then she spun away from the doorway just long enough to put it on. She didn't have time to question his generosity, or examine the shirt; she didn't want to turn her back on him any longer than necessary, and she didn't want to be exposed anymore.

The shirt fell to the tops of her thighs, and only then was she able to see the huge clan symbol plastered on the front, exactly like the one Shikamaru had been wearing all day. She had to roll her eyes.

"This is ridiculous," she said.

"Sorry. But it's better than what you've been wearing. For _me_, anyway."

"Are you sure you're not just marking your territory?"

Silence, and then:

"Are you calling yourself my territory?"

"Just wondering if _you're_ suffering from that delusion."

"I have another shirt, if you don't like that one. But it has long sleeves and I didn't think you'd want it."

"No, this is okay." She sighed, annoyed at him because she was actually grateful for the shirt. The cotton felt impossibly soft compared to the shrunken rabbit skin, and it was so convenient the way it had holes for her head and arms so that all she had to do was slip it on and it would stay there. She felt kind of spoiled. But she still looked like an idiot. "Maybe I can wear it inside-out."

"Let's see it."

She reluctantly pushed the curtain aside and stepped out of the hut. His eyes narrowed as he contemplated her new get-up, his gaze lingering on her thighs below the hem, on the shape of her breasts, which this shirt wasn't nearly voluminous enough to hide. Temari snapped her fingers near her own face to get his attention. He jerked his eyes up, looking a little pained.

"I take it that this isn't much better," she said.

"Better in some ways. Worse in others. But wear it, anyway."

"I don't have much choice," she said. "Thanks to Kiba, my old shirt turned into rabbit jerky."

He squinted down at her legs. "Any chance you'd take my pants, too?"

"Hell, no."

Being so close to him, _alone_ with him, softened and dulled her inhibitions in a way that Sakura's wine couldn't. But she was self-aware enough to feel it happening, and she quickly began trying to devise some activity she could do to distract herself, some excuse to walk away. She thought of the recent conversation with Hinata, and the little twist it had put in what used to be a fairly straightforward plan to help ten people turn into five happy couples. It wasn't something she could talk about with the _all_ the guys, but she assumed that Shikamaru was safe.

"Just to make sure," she said, "you're not considering Hinata as a potential partner, are you?"

His smile was a little crooked, and he reached out to touch her hair, ran fingers down the length of her ponytail. She instantly went on alert, but when he got to the end of her hair he let his arm fall without incident.

"Nope."

"You sure touching me is a good idea?"

"I'm okay."

"Yeah, I'll bet," she said. She wasn't surprised, considering how long he'd been gone in the woods. But he raised his hand again, and this time he rested fingers just below her jaw. Then he slowly, deliberately, rubbed his thumb across her parted lips. She exhaled sharply, surprised at how sensitive her own mouth was, at how that light contact intensified and spread through her whole body like wildfire. The crooked smile turned into a crooked grin.

"Are _you_ okay?" he said.

She was alarmed by her gut instinct, which was to drag him into the hut and find out how his fingers would feel on all the other sensitive parts of her body. "I'm..." Her voice trembled slightly, and she took a deep breath to get it under control. "I'm trying to talk to you about Hinata. Would you pay attention?"

The way he smirked at her made her press her lips together to keep from cursing him. It was probably this stupid shirt. Cocky bastard.

She explained the Hinata problem to him as succinctly as she could, which left him nodding grimly.

"So, she wants to get married?"

Temari nodded. "No marriage, no sex. But she doesn't just want a a contract, you know. She wants to be _loved_." She couldn't help the slight sneer that got tacked on the end. She didn't disdain the idea of love, but this was a really inconvenient time to insist on holding out for it. "And that's tricky, because I think it'll be a while before any of us are in a position to tell the difference between lust and love."

"But this explains her interest in Kiba," he said. "She's probably looking for a husband, and in her mind the best candidates would be men that have a history of protecting her."

"But what about Neji? Wasn't he her bodyguard or something?"

"Sort of, but they're cousins."

"I didn't realize they were that closely related."

"I wonder if that matters, though," he said. "The Hyuugas have a history of marrying within their own bloodlines. They have as many latent shinobi as they do geniuses, you know? Kids that never learn to mold their own chakra. It's possible that Hiashi was always planning to match those two up. They're the right age for it, and Hiashi favors Neji. So, maybe."

"Match them up?" Temari said, disgusted. Only a man could discuss something like that with a straight face. "That's ridiculous. I mean, if she picks her own cousin as a husband, there's nothing I can do about it. But to force her into something like that would be-"

"Calm down," he said. "No one's going to make her marry Neji. I was just thinking out loud."

"Well, when you find yourself thinking of incest, the polite thing to do is not to share it."

He gave her a sarcastic look.

The men finally began straggling out of the woods, looking a lot more relaxed than they had when they went in. Instead of starving jaguars, they sauntered back toward the fire pit like lazy house cats that were ready for a nap. It didn't stop them from noticing and commenting loudly on Shikamaru and Temari's matching outfits, though. Shikamaru, the jerk, refused to set them straight, preferring instead to look smug and aggravating.

And Temari found that arguing about it with these guys would only serve to make her sound weak. So she left it alone.

She didn't have anything to prove, anyway.

* * *

**A/N:** In the next chapter, day two on the island! Our castaways struggle to make love connections while they work on building some new huts.

By the way, I know there are probably questions about why these guys are stranded on an island, and what happened to Konoha and Akamaru and all the rest of that stuff. It will all be revealed as we go along, but for now rest confident in the fact that this is a fun story, and no one is dead. :)

Thanks so much for reading, and please review!


	4. The One With a Dream and a Coconut

**Chapter Four:**

**The One With All the Dreams**

Gray sand stretched out in all directions, coming to an end only when it melted into dull water. Granite jutted up in the middle of the island, harsh and cold, offering shelter but little else. A mist covered the landscape, obscuring edges, desaturating the blue of the sky. Everything was nothing.

He walked down to the beach, _expecting_ nothing. He walked because it warmed his muscles, gave him somewhere to go even though everywhere was nowhere. He reached the edge of the water, let the lukewarm surf wash over his toes. Stared out across the ocean, looking for _something_. Waiting for the same nothing that had always, always been there.

But this time something was there. A disturbance beneath the surface of the water, spray that flicked out and landed among the waves, white on dirty gray. He stared as that _something_ moved toward him, emerged near the shore. A head broke through the water, followed by bare shoulders and breasts, a long, naked back. A woman, crawling from the water on all fours, her eyes locked on his. Her hair was long and white-blonde, her eyes like blue summer skies, cloudless and vast. But as her hips emerged, he realized that she _wasn't_ on all fours. Instead of legs she had a tail like a fish, and instead of supporting herself on knees she pulled the tail behind her. She dug her clawed fingers into the beach, dragging her body toward him, inquisitive eyes never leaving his.

He wanted to go down the beach to meet her, he wanted to back away. So he stayed rooted to the spot, unable to look anywhere but at her body. How many years had it been since he'd laid eyes on a woman? Even half of one?

These questions left his mind as a new _something_ slipped out of the ocean. Another woman that was half-fish. This one also gazed at him, crawled toward him with determination, tail pulled behind her, silver fin slapping against the gray beach. Then another woman appeared. And another. Before the first one could reach him, a fifth woman broke free from the water, dragging breasts and belly and tail through powdery sand.

They were luminous. All five of them, and each in her own way. One had long, pink hair and eyes like emeralds, a splash of refreshing color against monochromatic gray. Another was warm and brown, lithe with strong muscles, breasts heavy in the sand. And there was a second blonde, also with eyes like the sky. Only these were turbulent and dark, a hurricane in the angry sea.

The fifth woman stood out the most to him, and was the one he found himself staring at even though it gave him a feeling of _wrongness_ in his gut. She intrigued him because of her contrast, white skin and black hair. White eyes and thick, black lashes. And because, somehow, he felt that he knew her.

The women paused before they reached him, and after a moment he realized why: their tails were writhing, shivering, separating into pairs of white legs. One by one they raised themselves up to stand on new, unsteady feet, one by one they bared the full lengths of their naked forms to him. Then they continued toward him, hands reaching for him, bodies caked in white, shimmering sand.

Fingers made contact with his skin, tugged at his hair, ran down his chest. Incredulous eyes studied him, teeth sank into lush, wet lips. Finally, the one with pink hair spoke.

"What are you?"

He heard his own voice as though from far away, a baritone echo that clashed against her soprano.

"A man."

The brunette touched his chest again, intrigued. The skin-to-skin contact warmed him, and the heat spilled into his blood, spread throughout his body. "Where are your breasts?"

"We don't have breasts."

"We?" said the one with pale, blonde hair. "Are there are more like you?"

He thought back to the other men, talking or resting or doing nothing at all in their "home" behind the granite hill. They could have walked out onto the beach this morning, but they hadn't. He'd seen the women, and they hadn't. That couldn't be a coincidence.

"No."

They continued to graze their hands over his body, exploring without embarrassment, naïve to the way they were affecting him. The brunette sank to her knees and ran both hands over his calf, up his thigh, slipping under the tattered edge of his shorts. She came in contact with the part of him that he knew she'd find most interesting, and one of her eyebrows quirked, perplexed.

"What _is_ this?"

Before he could answer, she started twisting at the button of his pants. Her inexperience with technology like this slowed her down, but she worked at it with confidence, her thighs on either side of his leg. Meanwhile, the woman with dark blonde hair was scratching a fingernail over his lip. She seemed to understand a little more than the rest of these women, and she smirked it him, playful where the others were merely curious.

"You have a fascinating mouth."

"Do I?"

"Mm-hm." She nodded slowly, possessed by some new motivation. "I think I'm going to kiss it."

He was caught off-guard by her forwardness, but he welcomed the kiss gratefully, along with the soft, feminine body that pressed against his. Her flesh was sticky with sea water, her mouth warm and sensual, and she moaned quietly as he held her around her waist and kissed her back. He felt his pants slip down to his knees, and a warm, ocean breeze caressed his entire body. Then delicate hands did likewise, touching, experimenting with his reactions to their touches, giggling at first, then gasping with surprise.

"Look at it..."

"Why does it do that?"

"What else will it do?"

The woman with pink hair took advantage of her lack of attention, sneaking fingers under his jaw and turning him to face her. His gaze met brilliant green, and then her lips were on his. Somehow he ended up on his back in the sand, pink hair falling around his face and damp breasts against his chest. His pants had disappeared and hands, lips, tongues were on his body, but he couldn't see beyond _this_ woman to know who was stroking and kissing what. Then a mouth engulfed sensitive, engorged flesh, and he no longer cared. Delirium was taking over; he was conscious of nothing except female bodies and wet tongues and too much pleasure.

The woman with pink hair edged aside, allowing him to see, just for a moment, who was between his legs. It was the pale blonde, and she stared at him with fevered eyes as her lips drew over his skin. He smiled to himself and dropped his head back in the sand, and the brunette demanded his mouth, picking up where the last girl had left off. The groan finally erupted from his lips and he glided hands up her ribcage, encapsulating her breasts, massaging sandy skin. Electricity ran through his body and focused in his groin; the blonde, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking, picked up her pace. Someone's tongue flicked over his nipple. One ran up inside of his thigh. His hand shot down and grasped at the pale blonde braids, holding her head against him, and just as all that pressure was about to be relieved, a quiet voice made them all stop.

"Wait."

He gasped for breath as the women pulled away, and he glanced up to see the one with black hair gazing down at him. Her hair fell in front of her breasts, unlike the other girls, but she self-consciously clasped her arms in front of her chest, anyway. She didn't seem to notice or care that the bottom half of her was also bare.

"What's wrong?" he said.

Her bottom lip trembled, but she stoically tried to hold it steady. "Everything."

Then she knelt beside him and slipped a knee across his thighs, straddling him. She stared at him with wide eyes, as though willing him to accept her. But that same feeling of discomfort began to burn in his stomach, at odds with the lust that demand he take her. He shook his head.

"This isn't right."

"Yes, it is," she whispered. She leaned forward and placed a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. Her eyelashes fluttered as she pulled away. "I want you."

Lust became a monster, began to tear at him, scream at him to give in. He grit his teeth in an effort to fight it. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do." Her voice was breath in his ears, seratonin in his blood. "Please take me."

"No..." He tried to sit up, but the other women reached out and held him down, and the girl with black hair began to lower herself onto him. He ached for her, wanted so badly to let her have her way. But he couldn't...he couldn't give in...

"Yes." She brushed her lips over his mouth, across his cheek. "You care about me. Don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"You _know_ me."

"Yes."

The tip of a wet tongue grazed his earlobe. "You love me."

He never answered her. The other women knew his resolve had broken and let him go, and he flipped the girl onto the ground, held her knees out of the way and jammed into her in one thrust. She gasped in shock and happiness, clung to him as he rocked his hips into hers. Fulfillment of desire and raw, physical pleasure consumed him, set him on fire, and he couldn't stop even though that tiny part of his brain whispered _wrong_. He didn't care if it was wrong. Wrongness made it _good_. Love and warmth filled her eyes as she gazed up at him, and her legs wrapped around his waist, her thighs trembling. She grasped at his back, scratched him with her nails, and all of the sudden he was coming. He pounded her hips down into the sand and she tossed her head back, exposing a flushed neck, and cried out his name...

"_Neji-nii-san_!"

**O O O**

Neji awoke with a start. Sweat poured from his body, and he panted through the last of the humiliating orgasm. Disgust rose up in his chest, threatened to choke out the truth that he clung to, to keep his sanity. He was _not_ in love with Hinata. He wasn't _attracted_ to Hinata. He felt filial affection for her, and that was it.

That was _all_.

He drew himself to sitting, used Byakugan to make sure that everyone's heart rates were still slow from sleep. Then he got up from his pallet and walked away from camp, determined to ignore the way his shorts stuck to his skin.

He headed for the beach, and when he reached the surf he stripped down, pulled the rubber band from the end of his hair and let it fall loose from the braid. He was going to have to wash his clothes and wear them wet back to camp, but for now he didn't think about that. He waded out into the water and dove into the waves, thinking instead about five women clawing their way out of the sea to be with him. In his dream, they had been strangers. That was a fair manifestation. They'd all been separated for so long that he couldn't honestly say he knew any of them anymore. Even Tenten. They had an easy friendship, but she'd mellowed enough over the years that he was forced to admit to himself now that she was female. Never before had she wrapped her fingers in his and held on, as though clinging to the last vestiges of reality in an increasingly-surreal world. Never in the past would she have weakened herself that way in front of him.

They had all changed. Temari was quicker to smile, to display unguarded happiness. Ino was less focused on herself, surprising him with the gentleness in her fingers as she'd washed his hair, massaged aching muscles in the back of his neck. Sakura had found her place among the women, confidence in her eyes that he'd never seen there before.

And Hinata was _bold_. Maybe not compared to the other women, maybe not so that the other men would notice. But now and then he'd catch her looking him in the eye. Offering her opinion on some small matter before it was asked. Despite the fact that they were cousins, he'd always had a difficult time relating to her because of how _not_-Hyuuga her attitude was. But now camaraderie was forming between them, a hint of common ground where before there had only been absence of understanding.

It felt like his subconscious had taken hold of these new facets and blown them out of proportion. The memory of Hinata beneath him left him chilled to the bone, torn between revulsion at what his mind had conjured and intense satisfaction at the release. Despite his earlier bath, he soaked and scrubbed in the salty ocean water, washing away thoughts of her. And Ino, too. He'd _never_ been attracted to her in Konoha. Why had the women appeared to him the way they had? Why would he have the most intimate encounters with the ones he desired the _least_ while awake?

It was going to take a lot more than an early-morning bath to make him feel clean again. So he returned to the beach and washed his shorts, put them out to dry. Then he lay on his back in the sand and gazed at the setting moon, letting the tide tug at his feet, doing everything in his power to _not_ imagine the flick of silver tails breaking through the surface of the water every time a wave crashed nearby.

**O O O**

Kiba's back ached from carrying felled trees from the forest into the camp, but it was a welcome pain. Where yesterday had been a dreamlike day of perfect relaxation, of being catered to and cared for and humored by beautiful women, today was a day of labor and sweat, of testing his physical capabilities, of directing all his energy from his mind to his muscles. Neji had ordered five new cabins be built, and while the rate of one per day would have the entire "village" done before the week was over, Neji was insisting they move faster, work harder, get it done sooner. Break times were rare, and very short, and then it would be back to the grind. The reason for this was obvious: The boss didn't want the guys to sit around and think about sex. Kiba was grateful for the diversion; the exertion kept his his mind on his _own_ body. Most of the time. Every now and then he'd get stuck walking behind one of the girls as she carried a basket of stones or vines, and with the vision of a bare lower back and long legs in front of him his mind would wander to all kinds of wonderful fantasies that would probably result in a debilitating injury from Eight Trigrams, Sixty-Four Palms.

The path he was beating joined together with the one that led from the beach, and he was brought up alongside Ino. She had a net-full of shells slung over her shoulder, her ankle-length hair pulled high and plaited into a thousand tiny braids that twitched behind her back while she walked. She was still dressed in her tiny, survivalist clothing, which didn't seem all that fair, considering how the men were now fully dressed. But he wasn't complaining.

Last night, after he'd separated from the other guys to take care of his hormones, it was Ino's face that came back to him, again and again. Ino's body. Her full lips and supple thighs. Pale skin like milk that seemed to radiate light. And he'd clung to those images with relief, accepting them as exoneration from his inexcusable feelings for Hinata. He'd dreamed about her, along with many other things; in his mind he'd taken her to bed with him, fucked her all night, and woken up with her curled in the crook of his arm. He'd spent so much time thinking about her that his response to her, now, was Pavlovian. Ring the bell, watch Kiba slobber.

"What's up with that smirk, Inuzuka?"

He realized that he was staring at her, but she didn't seem to mind. She was wearing a smirk of her own, and he hefted the trees he was carrying to a more comfortable position on his back.

"Nothing."

Ino's eyes were scary; they seemed to pierce right through his skull and see inside his brain. "Then why do I get the feeling you're picturing me naked?"

It was close enough to the truth that he laughed at himself. "You could say that to any guy and be right most of the time."

"Any guy on this island, or any guy in the world?"

"Any guy that's talking to _you_." He met her gaze, wondering if her perceptive eyes could see how he was already in the process of planning their future together. Long nights of sex, long mornings of sleeping in. Long days of working side-by-side, making a home on this island for all the good-looking kids they were going to have together.

Apparently, they could.

"So, what's the deal?" she said. "You've decided you're going to _have_ me?"

"Maybe."

"I don't know how you get up in the morning with that big head of yours."

He smiled, choosing to ignore that. "What are the shells for?"

She looked at him askance, but went along with his abrupt change of subject. "Decoration."

"Decoration?"

"Sure. I see no reason why the houses should all be the same. That'll get boring in about five minutes."

Maybe to the girls it would. He had a feeling the guys were going to be more interested in what was going on _inside_ the houses, and hell would freeze over before that got boring. "Well, make sure ours is the prettiest."

"Whose?"

"Mine and yours."

She laughed once, incredulous, and moved her bag of shells to the other shoulder. "You know, at some point arrogance stops being cute and starts being offensive."

They were back at camp, and he came to stop near the place where the other trees had been piled. He dropped the ones he was carrying and dusted off his arms and his hands. Then he turned to Ino, whose blue eyes were narrowed with feigned irritation. But just like last night he could smell the truth on her: she was hot for him. In fact, the more annoyed she was at him, the more turned on she got. Or maybe it was the other way around.

"You let me know when I get to that point," he said.

"You were never cute in the first place."

Her heart was pounding, and even though he knew he was treading on thin ice it was too tempting to keep messing with her. He ran a finger along her jaw, down her porcelain neck, his own jump in hormones both alarming and enticing. "Liar."

She stared up at him with honest confusion and pushed his hand away. "You know, you really are being an ass. If you like me, maybe you should try being nice. Or even _humble_."

"Why should I? Being an ass is working just fine."

"But eventually I'm going to get tired of it. Then what are you going to do?"

He bared his teeth. "That's when the real fun starts, Princess."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, Ino. You know humble is boring. And this is going to be a long-ass week." His fingers itched to touch her again, and this time, when he gave in, he knew he really was crossing a line. He grazed the back of his fingers down her stomach, brushing her navel, and leaned in so that his mouth was close to her ear. "If I can't sleep with you, at least give me the pleasure of _fighting_ with you."

Her breath hitched at the contact, primal need oozing from her skin. Her hands glided up his arms, her touch burning paths along his skin, and came to a stop against his chest. He see her gears turning as she tried to come to a decision, tried to figure out how she was going to _deal_ with him. The anticipation was making him crazy.

She took a deep breath and shoved him away.

"Keep your paws to yourself."

He was only worried for a second, until he noticed the sparkle in her eyes. The dizzying smell of adrenaline and attraction. The way she was biting her lip, white teeth against rose-petal skin as she waited for his next move.

He reached out and clucked her chin. "Maybe I don't want to."

She knocked his hand away again. "Maybe you're a jerk."

He caught her chin and tilted it up, inhaled sweet, feminine breath that made his mouth water. "Maybe that's how you like it."

She laughed darkly, her lips a hairsbreadth away. "Don't flatter yourself. You are _so_ not my type."

For a moment, he was too caught up in her to care about the rules. But before he could kiss her, a warning voice broke him out of his reverie.

"Kiba."

He jerked his head around to see Neji standing there, brow heavy with disapproval. Kiba gaped, unable to believe that he'd let the guy sneak up on him. Four years without a mission was making him dull.

He expected some kind of lecture, but Neji stared him down for a moment before turning and walking away. In the end, that proved good enough. Kiba dropped his hand from Ino's jaw and sighed, miserable at the thought of waiting another six days to get what he already felt was his.

"This is shit," he said.

Ino echoed the sigh, no longer bothering to pretend to hate him. "Maybe she's right, though. Maybe being too impulsive will just leave us with five bad matches."

"Maybe who's right?"

"Temari. She told us to be careful about going on our first instincts, because our impressions will probably change after a while."

Kiba scoffed. Of all the hypocritical... _Temari_ thought they should be careful and _wait_. This coming from the woman that had leeched onto Shikamaru the moment he'd gotten off the boat and hadn't detached herself since. The idea was so infuriating that Kiba was sorely tempted to make out with Ino right now, just to thwart it.

But it wouldn't be fair to her, to get her in trouble just because he was feeling pissy. So he reached out instead and pulled at a few of her braids, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to rile her up a little. She didn't disappoint him.

"Ouch, butt-head! Be careful!"

"Oh, _sorry_, Princess. Didn't realize you were so dainty and pitiful."

"Don't make me hurt you just to show you how dainty I'm _not_."

He felt the corner of his mouth turn up in a leer that he couldn't control. "Damn, I wish you would."

She caught his hand and brought it up to her mouth, snapped teeth at one of his fingers. A coy smile curled her lips. But her teeth never met his skin; she dropped his hand, letting it swing free by his side, and gave him a slow wink.

"I'm sure I'll find plenty of opportunities to hurt you this week."

A grin broke Kiba's face, his heart racing at the thought of playing with Yamanaka Ino.

Hell. Yes.

**O O O**

Temari was bored. They'd finally called it a day on the construction, after completing two houses. Actually, when Neji had ordered them to get started on house number three, the entire crew had mutinied and gone down to the beach to build a bonfire instead.

Which was fine, and all, except that now there was nothing to do. She felt bound by duty to leave Shikamaru alone; the problem was that, with him around, she seemed to have forgotten all the ways she used to amuse herself. They'd eaten dinner early, grilled fish and coconut meat and nori, and the sun hadn't yet disappeared behind the horizon. People sat in small groups, talking quietly, but Temari was antsy. Energetic despite how hard she'd worked today. Maybe that was the problem. Working was one thing, but now she was ready to have fun. And she didn't know what fun there was to be had when she was still staring down a too-long journey of celibacy.

Empty coconut shells lay around her, waiting for her to pick them up and take them to the compost. Some had been cut in half, the meat scraped out so that almost nothing was left. But some were still whole, having been determined to be too lightweight to be worth breaking open. A bird had pecked them open, maybe, so that the milk had drained out, and they'd long since rotted and dried up on the inside. Temari hefted one of these whole ones in a hand, tossed it up and down a few times, judging its weight. Not heavy at all. Maybe like an apple. Then her eyes fell on Shikamaru's _pine_apple-shaped head, and a smirk crept onto her face. It probably wouldn't hurt too bad.

She lobbed the coconut. It bounced off his skull with a satisfying _thock_ that echoed all over the beach, and he whipped around, rubbing the back of his head, his face screwed up with anger.

"Ow! What the-"

His eyes fell on hers, and she mustered up her best "completely innocent" expression. He glared at her with utter betrayal, not fooled at all. Damn face never did work.

"What's the matter?" she said.

"What's the _matter_? You threw a coconut at my head!"

It was so hard not to laugh, especially when everyone else started cracking up. "Maybe it fell out of a tree."

There wasn't a tree within thirty feet of them. His eyebrow twitched, and he reached over and grabbed the coconut where it landed in a dune. "And maybe now it's going to..." He waved the thing in her general direction. "...fall out of a tree and hit _you_ in the head."

"No chance. I'm not slow and dumb enough to be hit by a coconut."

He got to his feet and headed her way, and she jumped up defensively. He was a man on a mission, eyes focused, and he wound up and chucked the thing at her with more strength than she thought he would. She dodged it easily, but she shot out a hand and grabbed it before it could get away. It landed in her palm with a painful smack.

"If you'd actually _hit_ me with that it would have hurt, Nara!"

"Just testing your dumbness and slowness."

"Well, _I'm_ going to test your ability to protect your crotch!"

Laughter from the guys, especially Naruto. "Don't damage it, Temari. You'll regret it later."

Shikamaru advanced on her, bent over and arms out, prepared for her attack. She was surprised at how close he was willing to get, until, too late, she realized that he wasn't going to wait for her to throw it. He lunged for the coconut, and she had to spin and try and keep it away while he grabbed her around the waist and lifted her out of the sand.

"Crap!" she shouted, holding the coconut out while he scrabbled for it. She searched for the closest girl that was paying attention, yelled her name in a warning. "Tenten, catch!"

She hurled it, and Tenten caught the coconut easily. But then held it like she wasn't sure what to do with it.

"Naruto!" yelled Shikamaru, his voice muffled because Temari was pushing at his face as she tried to get away. "Get it!"

Naruto grinned and hopped to his feet, and Tenten's eyes widened.

"Temari, what are you doing to me?"

"Don't let him have it!"

Tenten turned and ran, feet flying across the sand. She was too quick, and Naruto never stood a chance. But he delegated the task of getting her to Neji, and Neji had obviously spent many years catching Tenten; he dashed toward her, a small smirk on his lips, ducking and weaving in a way that she couldn't seem to dodge. Temari was amazed to see him being so playful, so physical, but they were all being like that. It had been so long since they were truly happy that they'd forgotten how to hide it.

Tenten lobbed the ball to Sakura, who wasn't far enough to get a good head start on Neji, and Neji whirled and grabbed her before she could slip away, pinning her arms by her side. The coconut fell out of her hands and rolled across damp sand, and Sakura laughed as Kiba fell on it and claimed it for the guys.

"Give it back, Kiba!"

Kiba got to his feet and curled the coconut under his arm, dusting sand out of his hair with the other hand. "I don't think so, Pinkums."

"_Pink_ums!" Sakura went bright red. "What kind of nickname is that?"

He held the coconut inches from her face, and Neji refused to let her free so she could snatch it back. "It's an adorable one," said Kiba. "Because you're just _adorable_, the way you're trying win against the guy-"

He didn't get to finish his bragging. Ino, from her place on the ground, lunged at his knees and knocked him down. Then she dove on top of him and snagged the coconut, waving it triumphantly.

"This one's for Pinkums!" she cried.

Sakura finally got tired of being trapped; she sent an elbow into Neji's solarplexus, and he recoiled and let her go. Ino was hopping up from Kiba, preparing to bolt, but he got a hand around her ankle and she fell forward onto her stomach and elbows. The coconut jumped away when she hit, and Sakura dashed after it. Naruto was coming in from another angle, and for a moment it was a race to see who would get there first.

Until now, Temari hadn't realized that Shikamaru was still holding her against his chest, her feet off the ground; they were both absorbed in the battle for the coconut going on down the beach. But as Sakura got closer, Temari focused on trying to get free.

"Let me go," she said.

"Nope."

She kicked her feet and shoved at his chest, but it was no use. He had her turned at a weird angle and there was nothing she could do about it, and he grinned at her imperiously while she struggled. It was tempting to knock him on his butt with a burst of chakra, but if she opened that can of worms, there'd be nothing to stop the guys from totally dominating.

Naruto and Sakura were ten feet from the coconut. Then five.

"Back off!" Sakura yelled.

"Make me!" he shouted back.

They crashed together in the middle, a cursing tangle of arms and legs. The coconut got pushed aside, rolled away a couple of inches; Sakura's hand dashed out of the melee in a claw, trying to reach it. Naruto knocked her hand aside and brushed the coconut with his fingertips; Sakura crawled on top of him and shoved his face down in the sand.

"_Mmmrph_!" was the only sound he could make. Sakura cackled and grabbed the coconut in one hand, but Naruto was too close for safety, threatening to push her off any second and claim it for his own. So Sakura panicked, eyes darting around until they landed on the dubious face of Hyuuga Hinata.

"Hinata, _help_!"

She chucked the coconut as hard as she could; it landed a foot in front of Hinata and rolled to a stop at her feet. Hinata stared at the thing, terrified, and the girls all screamed at her to pick it up and run. She took it gingerly between her hands, stood up, then backed away as though an attack might come from any angle.

But everyone was occupied. Or, almost everyone. Temari was trying to get a finger under Shikamaru's armpit to tickle him, Kiba and Naruto were busy holding down Ino and Sakura so they wouldn't be able to go over and help. Tenten was blocking Neji to keep him from rushing Hinata.

"Chouji!" screamed Naruto, choking a little because Sakura had him around the neck. "Get her!"

Chouji was the only one still chilling out by the fire, but, having been called on, he got to his feet. His clothes hung loose around his body, far too big from him now, and he brushed away sand and bits of flotsam from his shorts. Then he held his hands up in a totally non-threatening way and took a few steps toward Hinata.

She tucked the coconut against her stomach and stared out at him, eyes as wide and frozen as a mouse's.

"Knock her down!" yelled Kiba. "She can take it!"

Chouji's brow furrowed uncertainly, and he reached a hand out instead.

"Maybe you should just give it to me, Hinata-chan."

"No!" came the cry of the women.

"Don't do it!"

"Don't give it to him, Hinata!" yelled Temari, then she shrieked when Shikamaru pinched her side. She licked a finger and stuck it in his ear, and _that_ finally made him let go. But he was already reaching for her as she dashed away and managed to grab the back of her t-shirt. They both tripped and fell, and she ended up doing a faceplant and getting a mouthful of beach. Shikamaru landed on top of her, laughing as he crushed against the dune.

She lifted her face and spat, eyes filling with tears because of the sand. "Damn _shirt_!" she said. Damned _man_ that was too big for her to successfully fight anymore. She couldn't see a thing, but she could hear Hinata's very best "tough" voice.

"I can't let you have it, Chouji-kun."

Chouji hesitated for a moment, before mumbling, "They're going to make me take it."

Ino's voice pierced clearly from the other side of the fire. "No way! Hinata will never lose!" Then she screamed with laughter; there was no telling what Kiba was doing to her.

"Just take it!" yelled Naruto.

"Knock him down!" said Sakura.

"Grab her!"

"Run away!"

Temari blinked, rubbed her eyes on the black of a clean hand, and she was finally able to see again. Hinata's face screwed up with determination, and she took a tiny step backward. Chouji responded by taking a step toward her. Another shuffle away, followed by another shuffle toward. Then, all at once, Hinata whipped around, black hair fanning out behind her, and darted toward the water. Chouji chased after her, a grin breaking out across his face.

Hinata was fast. But Chouji had much longer legs, and he wasn't nearly as hulking and lumbering as he used to be. He made impressive strides toward her, not catching up, but not losing any ground, either. He was always three steps behind.

Hinata waffled a bit when she reached the water's edge, before veering right and running alongside the surf. That slight pause let Chouji gain on her, and he stretched out a hand, her hair slipping through his fingers before they closed around nothing. Temari couldn't help but smirk as she watched; what the heck was Chouji planning to do with Hinata, once he had her? She wasn't the type of girl that you manhandled, and he wasn't the type to grab her. He'd more likely end up chasing her across the beach all evening.

But her path brought her near Neji, Tenten, Kiba and Ino. Neji broke away from Tenten and blocked Hinata, who suddenly found herself about to be crushed between two men. So she twisted and lobbed the coconut at Ino, but Chouji flung out a hand, plucking it from midair. He held it aloft in victory, but Ino attacked him, arms around his waist as she tried to bring him down. Tenten, too, jumped onto his back and grappled for the coconut. But Chouji laughed and kept right on celebrating, unhindered by the pair of women hanging off of him.

Then Hinata surprised them all.

She leaped at Chouji's chest and started climbing him, as nimble as a monkey as she scaled all six-and-a-half feet. She made it to his shoulders and swung a leg around his neck, then held onto his head with one hand as she reached up for the coconut. Her fingers brushed it; Kiba and Neji grabbed at the other girls in an effort to free up Chouji. Hinata reached higher, the coconut wobbled, the girls refused to let Chouji go, and there was a very real, female scream. The next thing Temari knew the whole lot of them were going to the ground in a pile of bodies.

Long arms reached out and snatched at Hinata, plucking her from Chouji's shoulders before she hit the ground, but from this angle it was impossible to tell who'd gotten hold of her. Temari waited for the sound of any cursing or crying, but there was none. Just laughter and teasing as the group disentangled themselves.

"Careful! That's my arm!"

"You're on my hair!"

"Watch where you're kicking me, would you?"

Temari shoved Shikamaru off of her; he got to his feet and offered her a hand to help her up. She took it, but she made sure to give him an elbow in the ribs for good measure.

"Pervert," she said. "You just wanted an excuse to fondle me."

"You started it."

By the time they got to everyone else, Kiba and Tenten were emerging from the pile. They were followed by Ino and Chouji, and underneath them all was Neji.

And underneath _him_ was Hinata.

She lay on her back, tears streaming from her eyes. But she was giggling like a little kid, and she rubbed in vain at the sand on her face.

"Hinata-sama, are you all right?"

She coughed, wiped away a tear. "I don't know."

"What hurts?"

Another giggle, and she looked up at Neji with a pathetic face. "Everything..."

Neji blanched, and Temari distinctly felt a change in the atmosphere. He seemed to realize he was crushing Hinata, and began to lift himself off of her, but before he could get very far Kiba grabbed him by both shoulders and yanked him to his feet. His eyes were shocked, wild, and he stared at Neji like he didn't know him anymore.

"What the _hell_?"

Confused, Temari looked at Shikamaru. But Shikamaru just shook his head; he didn't know what was going on, either. Neji stood there stiffly, not retaliating, but Kiba gave him a shove on his shoulder.

"Look at me, Hyuuga! What's wrong with you?"

Neji swallowed; shook his head slightly. "Nothing..."

Kiba bared his teeth. "_Nothing_? You son of a bitch..."

He hit Neji's shoulder again, and Ino grabbed him to try and hold him back.

"Kiba, _stop_. Why are you freaking out?"

Kiba glanced back at Ino; seemed to notice her for the first time. Then his eyes darted around at all the women. Tenten, untangling a dried reed from her hair. Sakura, running up from where Naruto had had her pinned. Hinata, still lying on the ground with a dazed expression. He licked his lips and said, "woods."

"What?"

"Men. Woods. _Now_." He pried Ino's fingers from his arm and walked away, didn't look back to see if he was being followed. But, after a moment, the guys began to trickle after him. Neji's face was unreadable; Chouji and Naruto looked baffled and worried. Shikamaru just shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, then brought up the rear.

Temari watched them all until the disappeared between the trees, then turned to face the rest of the girls. Tenten's eyes were wide.

"Is this what we have to look forward to, now that there are guys here?" she asked. "Sudden bouts of male PMS?"

Hinata shook her head against the ground, a slow roll from side to side. "I don't know," she said. The her face brightened and she reached over to where the coconut had landed on the ground near Ino's feet. She grabbed it and held it close to her chest, like a trophy. "But I think this means we win!"

**O O O**

Once they'd left camp behind them, Kiba spun on Neji. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this angry, but the stench of sex on Neji was enough to make his blood boil. He was used to it, sort of; they _all _smelled like sex now and then because of the girls. But it had come on Neji all at once, and the reason was obvious: Hinata.

He grabbed the front of Neji's gi jacket, his crisp, clean, _Hyuuga_ gi, and jerked him forward.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said again.

Neji barely stumbled; his reflexes were too fast to be caught off-guard by something like that. Which meant that he'd _let_ Kiba manhandle him. "I don't know."

"You don't _know_? How can you say that with a straight face? She's your _cousin_!"

Shikamaru was on them both, and he put a hand on Kiba's chest to hold him back. There was no need for him to try and contain Neji, who wasn't defending himself.

"What's going on?" Shikamaru said.

"Our captain's a fucking pervert," Kiba said. "He wants Hinata."

Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow, and Neji sighed, frustrated.

"No, I don't..."

"Don't lie to me..."

"I'm not _lying_." He yanked himself free of Kiba's grip, then stepped back and straightened his clothes. "You don't understand everything."

"I understand enough. You want her, and it's making you guilty."

"I don't _want_ her-"

"Bullshit!" Kiba advanced on him, even though Neji's eyes flashed danger at his proximity. "You been imagining her naked, Hyuuga? Thinking about her when you were jerking last night-"

Neji was too fast for Kiba to see. He felt the crack of pain in his chest before he detected movement. Neji knocked him backward into a tree and his head bounced off the trunk with a thud.

"I've had enough of your filth," Neji said. "Shut your mouth and listen to me, or get ready to spend the next month in a coma."

Kiba's vision swam with stars, but he lurched forward, intending to knock some sense into Neji. But four hands stopped him: Shikamaru and Chouji.

"Calm _down_," said Shikamaru. "Calm down and think. This is just bothering you more because you feel the same way-"

Kiba pulled away from them, disgusted. "What difference does it make how _I_ feel? I'm not related to her!"

"But things are different for the Hyuugas-"

Neji muttered something, a curse or a prayer. "You're not helping, Shikamaru."

"I'm just saying-"

"This is a misunderstanding," Neji said to Kiba. "I'm not attracted to Hinata-sama. I know you're protective of her, but you're being unreasonable-"

"Explain the stink, then."

"The..._stink_?"

"She makes you smell like a lay."

Neji actually reddened, which was all Kiba needed to see. But he contained himself, willing to give Neji one last opportunity to explain.

"You'd better tell me something that makes me feel all better, real fast," Kiba said. "I'm two seconds away from whipping your ass."

Neji glared at him. "I had a dream last night," he said. And then he didn't say anything else. As if that one sentence was supposed to clear everything up.

"Oh, well it all makes sense now."

Neji sighed and brought his fingertips to his forehead. "You don't get it. I had a dream about the _women__._"

Naruto surprised them all by interrupting Neji's confession with a snort.

"Oh, yeah. I had that dream." He grinned and let his head fall back to gaze up at the sky. Neji frowned.

"What dream?" said Kiba.

"The _women_ dream," Naruto said. He elbowed Chouji. "You had one like that, too, right?"

Chouji flushed, crossing his own arms. "Maybe."

"What about you, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru was quiet for a moment, like he was deciding whether or not to say anything. But he gave a reluctant nod.

Neji was skeptical, but relief flirted at the edge of his features. "Are you trying to tell me that we all had the same dream?"

"I doubt they were exactly the same," Shikamaru said. He sighed, then gazed back in the direction of the beach. "They probably just served the same psychological purpose."

Frustration was rising up in Kiba's gut. Why did they all seem to know what was going on with Neji, and he didn't? "Someone had better explain something to me, before I get pissed."

"Nothing to explain," said Naruto. "You. The beach. Five naked girls. Think about it."

Chouji cleared his throat, looking humiliated. "Or the onsen. Whatever."

_Now_ Kiba understood. The other guys had been dreaming about orgies all night, which was so funny that he threw back his head and laughed. "You're _all_ a bunch of perverts!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we all know how _your_ dreams were going. Do us a favor and sleep in the woods tonight, would you? I'm a little tired of hearing you telling Ino to suck it."

Kiba just grinned, not embarrassed in the slightest. Their dreams made his look G-rated.

The guys were silent for a while, caught up in memory or whatever. Eventually, Neji said:

"So, did you all end up with..." His voice trailed away, but Chouji picked up where he left off.

"Someone weird? I did."

Shikamaru refused to answer.

"I slept with them all," said Naruto. "But some of them made more sense than the others."

"Wait a minute," Shikamaru said. "You dreamed about having sex with Temari?"

"Yeah." Naruto scratched the back of his head. "That one was kind of messed up. No offense."

"Why do _you_ get the Temari dream, and I'm left with-" He rubbed his hands over his face, annoyed. "Never mind."

Chouji's nose scrunched up, perplexed. "How did you manage...I mean, I know it was a dream, and all, but five times..."

"Clones," said Naruto, as though it should be obvious.

"Oh."

"I mean, the way I figure it..." Naruto laced his fingers behind his head and grinned. "...you guys aren't even necessary."

The guys snorted; Kiba punched him on the arm. Chouji gave him a shove. Then they all headed back toward the beach where the girls would be waiting.

**O O O**

"Release!" Ino dropped her hands and shook them out, then she glanced up at Temari. "They're coming."

The girls quickly moved into innocent poses, pretending to have been building sand castles or gazing at the full moon. Ino focused on clearing her mind, so that there would be a clean break between her consciousness and Neji's. Didn't want to leave any little pieces of herself lying around.

In the end, Neji's mind had been the only one that she felt she could safely occupy. Chouji and Shikamaru knew what Shinkanshin felt like, and would have detected her in a second. Naruto, as far as she knew, still shared her body with the kyuubi, so she had no intention of going there. And Kiba...well, it was one thing to play with him and tease him, but the guy was able to sense too much about her. And it was possible that he would have recognized her in his thoughts. Not likely, but possible.

Men were dirty. And weird. How could they be fighting one second and pals the next, like nothing had ever happened? She'd forgotten that they behaved that way, like kids in bodies that were too big for them. Which was a little disturbing, considering how sexual they were.

She hadn't told the girls everything. Neji's conflict about Hinata, for one thing, wasn't something anyone else needed to know, but she'd been quite liberal in sharing the details of their naughty dreams. While she was swirling her toes in a moon pool, Tenten glanced up and caught her eye, mouthed the phrase _suck it, Ino_. She had to purse her lips together to keep from laughing.

The guys meandered back; the girls acted busy. Finally Temari suggested that they put out the fire and head back to camp, so they could get ready for bed. She began kicking sand into the pit, but Shikamaru came over and stopped her, putting hands on her shoulders and holding her out so he could look her over.

"What are you doing?" she said.

He stared at her with intense concentration, like he wanted to burn her image into his brain forever. "Just...preparing."

"How about you stop creeping me out and help me with the fire?" But then she brought a finger to her lips and said, "On second thought, you probably don't want to. Maybe I'll see if one of Naruto's clones will give me a hand..."

Shikamaru's lip curled, confused, and Temari laughed at his expression. But then realization dawned on his face and he shot a glare at Ino.

"_Yamanaka_!"

* * *

**A/N 2:** First of all, this chapter is dedicated to my friend **Coelha-chan**! She shares a birthday with my husband, and she, quite unwittingly, inspired like two-thirds of this chapter. So here it is, a very late birthday present, with all my love. Parabéns, Ro!

When I started the fic I was thinking, "Yeah, it'll be fun to write five different couples, some of which are cracky!" But, in reality, I didn't consider the fact that this means I'm going to have to, you know, write characters other than Shikamaru and Temari. It _is_ fun, but there's a big learning curve. So I hope you guys will cut me some slack as I start venturing into non Shika/Tema points of view. Kiba and Ino, in particular, give me trouble; they're so much the opposite of Shikamaru and Temari: visceral, where the other two are cerebral. That's not normal for me. It's a great exercise, but I'm sure my inexperience is going to shine through for a while.

**Notes on the couples:** I've gotten quite a few reviews expressing happiness or dislike for the various couples they think they see evidence for in this fic, but let me say this; until quite recently, even _I _wasn't sure who I was going to put with whom. Shika/Tema is a given, but most of the other "evidence" you see for other pairings is just me telling a pervy story and having fun. That said, this is a story with _five_ couples in it. And, other than ShikaTema, there's nothing canon about me. I like crack. A lot. And Naruto-n-pals have been shipwrecked so long that, honestly, nothing will seem like crack to them anymore. The odds of me tackling a pairing that you don't like are pretty high. It's my hope that you'll still continue along for the ride, just because, hopefully, it's a fun one.

Thanks for reading! _Please_ leave me a review and let me know what you think.


	5. The One w Shell Jewelry & a Puffer Fish

**A/N:** Uh...yeah. I've messed with this a little over the years, and I finally cobbled together a chapter five. I'm not back, or anything, but I've got some free time (read: my husband's workload is four times bigger than mine) so if the inspiration strikes I might keep working on this. Three points:

I recently reread the old stuff, but I'm still not sure my characters are "in-character." I've evolved in the last two/three years so they may never be. I'm sure there are also loose threads that I probably lost.

Reminder/warning: If I ever finish this, I can guarantee that it will piss you off at some point. There are far too many OTPs and there's no way I can make everyone happy when I'm dealing with a matrix of ten people.

This chapter probably sucks. I've been staring at it so long that it looks like someone glued Scrabble tiles all over my monitor.

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

**The One With Shell Jewelry and a Puffer Fish**

Shikamaru, Temari and Neji sat in a circle on the floor of the hut. Between them lay ten small things they'd salvaged from the beach. Each piece represented one of the islanders: a pink shell for Sakura, a sea urchin for Naruto, a clam for Hinata. Earlier in the morning Temari had found a sea slug that she wanted to stand for Shikamaru, but he rejected it and broke off a piece of brain coral instead. He thought he was clever; she thought he was arrogant and ridiculous. But he was super pretty, so she put up with it.

Beside the "playing pieces" she'd drawn a five-by-five grid in the sand, and she'd written each person's name along the top or side of the square. Now they had a deductive reasoning board, and with it they hoped to solve all future problems of match-making on the island. They had no intention of playing God or forcing people together. But their friends were brain-dead right now and needed a little bit of guidance. As the strategists of their respective "cells," Shikamaru and Temari had taken up the task of figuring out who would work best with who, which pairs couldn't be trusted alone together, which pairs would only be happy for one hot, sweaty weekend. Neji didn't need to be here for this, but since Shikamaru and Temari were number one in the "can't be trusted alone together" category they'd earned themselves a babysitter.

"I'm thinking we set up five date sites along the beach," Temari said. "Far enough apart that we're not on top of each other, but close enough so that no one ends up...you know. On top of each other."

The boys nodded.

"Now," she said, "our number one priority is to determine who would be the most open to marrying Hinata. The way I see it, there are two people who might prefer marriage over shacking up." She pointed to the sea urchin and a puffer fish. "Naruto and Chouji. They just seem like family guys to me."

Shikamaru cleared his throat, and when Temari looked at him he tilted his head toward Neji. Temari ignored him. She put an X on the grid between each girl and her former teammate(s): that meant between Sakura and Naruto, Tenten and Neji, Hinata and Kiba, and an X between both Ino and Chouji and Ino and Shikamaru. The X's didn't mean anything per say. In the end, each girl was going to pick her own man. But no one needed to have a date with her old teammates; they knew them too well already and that was the whole problem.

She caught Shikamaru's eye and drew a big, deliberate X between Neji and Hinata. He frowned. She also put an X between Kiba and Ino, who had already been hanging out enough together to constitute a "date." More than enough. She didn't know if they were serious or just screwing around but in her opinion they could benefit from some cooling-down time.

"Might as well put one between us, too," Shikamaru said. "Me and you."

"Good point." She drew another X. "Now, let's figure out a few more things. First: is there anyone in this group that can be trusted to be alone with anyone else?"

"Hinata can be trusted with anyone who won't initiate contact," Shikamaru said. "But that's probably only Chouji."

"Okay." She made a note in the grid box between Hinata and Chouji. "Who else?"

"I can be trusted with you, Temari," Neji said. He offered no explanation, and Temari didn't demand one. But it _did_ make her wonder. Of all the guys, Neji was the only one who hadn't hit on her. She wasn't flattered when the other guys did it; flirting wasn't even a fully-conscious behavior for hormonal young men. But it sure was cute. Kiba's blatant innuendo. Naruto's clumsy but good-natured suggestions. Chouji's shy compliments. Shikamaru's smoking gaze, and his searing touches whenever he thought he could get away with it. Not half so clever as he thought he was, but she kept letting him do it, so he didn't need to be more clever than that, did he? A hand on her shoulder. Then a knuckle down the length of her spine. Then fingertips above her knee as they sat in the dark near the fire, creeping higher and higher until she was finally forced to cross one leg over the other and put a stop to it...

Shit, what had she been thinking about? Oh, right, Neji hadn't hit on her yet. She hadn't seen him hit on anyone at all, but it was possible that his vibes were just too subtle for her to pick up on. Maybe he was even stronger than she thought. Or more stoic.

"Trust yourself with anyone else?" she asked him.

"Not necessarily," Neji said.

"What about you, Shikamaru?"

"If I can be trusted with anyone, it's Ino," he said.

"If?"

"Look, do you want the answer that makes you happy, or do you want the truth?" _He_ didn't look all that happy; he looked green.

"Fine," she said, trying not to be annoyed. She couldn't set these people up based on absolute trust, anyway. It just seemed useful to know who would be least likely to start fucking in the woods at random. For one thing, people who _could_ be trusted together might not make good matches, as counter-intuitive as that seemed. If there wasn't one person in the pair that was willing to get things started, how could the relationship go anywhere?

She made a few more notes, then went back to her main priority: Hinata. According to this, Hinata shouldn't be alone with Kiba until she'd explored other options. Shikamaru and Neji were obviously both a No. That left Chouji and Naruto, who, luckily, were the two she hoped might be willing to marry her.

"What do you guys think about these two?" she said.

Shikamaru shrugged. Neji looked tired.

"Come on, help me out here. This wasn't even my idea in the first place." She brought the clam, the sea urchin and the puffer fish together and tried making pairs with them. In her opinion the clam made a better couple with the sea urchin, but what the hell did she know? She was terrible at stuff like this. "Hinata and Naruto, or Hinata and Chouji?"

"Whichever," said Shikamaru. Neji said nothing.

"You two are useless." Ino, now _she_ would have been a good one to bring into this discussion, if only she wasn't compromised herself. If there was romance to be found somewhere, anywhere, that girl would find it.

Suddenly, Shikamaru snatched up the puffer fish and got to his feet. "I'm going to put this in the water so it can breathe. It keeps looking at me like I'm a murderer." She didn't know what he was talking about at first, but on his way out of the hut he deliberately let his foot knock Neji's playing piece, the abalone, toward her. It took all her self-control not to pick up the brain coral and hurl it at him.

At the door of the hut he glanced back at her one last time. _Just ask him_, he seemed to be saying, before he disappeared around the thin curtain. He was serious about this. Serious that Neji might be willing to marry Hinata. The problem was that Temari was equally serious about performing no such ceremony. But by making this decision by herself was she forcing her will on two people who might otherwise hook up?

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"So," she said.

He glanced up.

"How are things?"

He raised an eyebrow at the banal question. "Fine."

She drummed her fingers on her knee. Neji didn't fidget at all; he rarely did.

"What are you thinking about?" she said. She cringed at how stupid she sounded. He gazed at the clam and the sea urchin, lost in thought, and didn't answer at first. But just when Temari had decided that this conversation was going nowhere, he said:

"Do you want the answer that makes you happy, or do you want the truth?"

She laughed, until she realized that he wasn't kidding. Something was really eating him. "The truth," she said.

"I'm thinking about you."

There wasn't anything romantic about the way he'd said it, but it still made her pause. Maybe because, in true-Neji fashion, he hadn't qualified it or apologized for it. He _had_ to know how on-edge everyone was these days, too ready to flirt and be flirted with. Anything at all could be a compliment. Anything at all could be a threat.

"Why are you thinking about me? Have you been waiting to talk to me?"

"I'm remembering when I first saw you on the beach."

She laughed cynically. "You mean when I was half-naked?"

"Yes."

Her laugh died, and Neji looked at her with that blank, intimidating frankness. She heard a _thump_-_thump_ and realized it was her own heartbeat, pounding behind her ears.

"Neji..."

"Did I do the wrong thing, by telling you that?" he said. "I thought we'd decided that transparency was safer." Behind the question she heard something she was getting used to, the self-conscious frequency of a man who is, in terms of romantic experience, still just a boy. He was embarrassed.

"There were four half-naked women on the beach that day. Were you thinking about all of them, or...?

"No."

"Give me something, man," she said. "I'm getting worried. Why me? Is it because I'm right here?"

His eyes locked on hers, and her muscles tensed in preparation for fight or flight. No, she was lying to herself if she pretended that those were her only two options. Neji was a beautiful guy. And he wore great deodorant. She was committed to Shikamaru, but to act like she wasn't tempted would be disingenuous.

"It's because you're safe," he said.

"What do you mean?"

He let his gaze shift for the first time. "Shikamaru's made it clear with the rest of us that he won't tolerate any- -interference- -between the two of you."

Temari grinned in spite of herself. The idea of Shikamaru getting dominant on these guys...well, it amused her. She couldn't even picture it. "What exactly did he say?"

"He said, 'If you're thinking there are five girls on this island, you're wrong. There are four girls and a rock.'"

She snorted and picked up the playing piece that Shikamaru had chosen for her. At least now she knew why it was a rock. "So that's 'making it clear?'"

"Clear enough. We understand each other."

"Are you afraid of him?"

He frowned slightly. "I respect him."

"So you encourage naughty daydreams about me because your 'respect' for Shikamaru would keep you from acting on it? Sounds like flirting with disaster."

"Better than flirting with...other things." He seemed pained, and she realized that he wasn't just thinking about her boobies for the hell of it, he was actively trying to keep himself from thinking about some _other_ girl's boobies. Or maybe he was crazy turned-on all the time and his libido had settled on the one woman he knew he wouldn't be tempted to put the moves on.

"Neji?"

His eyes snapped to her face. She wondered, though, how much he could see without looking directly at her. Without the byakugan, were his eyes just normal eyes?

"Who is it?" she asked. "Is it Tenten?"

"I'd rather not talk about that with you."

She laughed. "But it was totally okay to talk to me about how you've been using me."

"I don't know that I would call it 'using-'"

"It depends on what you do," she said carefully, "when you're thinking of me."

His eyes got distant and he seemed, if not ashamed, at least quieted. "I'm using you."

He was struggling to hang on to his self-respect. He'd been the captain of this ten-man cell at one time and he was a very proud individual. But _he_ knew his pride was a facade at the moment. And even though it was impossible for him to put the facade away, he couldn't respect _himself_ if he kept the truth concealed behind it. So he told her what he felt he could let go. And what he desperately needed now was to not be respected _less_ simply because he'd been honest.

She decided to let that subject drop. Shikamaru would be back soon, and if she was going to ask Neji about Hinata she needed to do it quickly. For whatever reason, Shikamaru didn't seem to think that _he_ should be around when she asked.

"I need to talk to you about something," she said. "Although, I'm not sure it'll be appropriate after that last conversation."

"We'll see."

"It's about Hinata. And marriage."

He said nothing, waiting. She didn't want to ask the question at all but, for Hinata's sake, she couldn't leave any option unexplored.

"This is none of my business, so feel free not to answer me. But Shikamaru suggested- -I mean, he mentioned something about Hyuuga customs..."

Neji sighed and brought a finger to his forehead. He massaged the seal there, his eyes squinted shut. She hastened to make herself clear.

"I'm not asking, or even hinting, that you do anything about this. I was more...gauging your interest level. Rather than write you off as an option, we thought it might be worth it to..." She sighed, already frustrated with this forced formality. "Listen, if the thought makes you want to vomit, let me know and I'll move on. No sweat off my back. It's not like Hinata has said anything about it."

"I am bound to serve Hinata-sama in whatever way she needs me to. If the choice was between me and no husband at all, I would do my duty."

Temari opened her mouth to explain to him that she had no interest in allowing any of her girls to enter into some sort of arranged, "dutiful" marriage, but he cut her off.

"I would do my duty, and I would not find it..." His eyes met hers. "...unpleasant."

"Oh."

"But I don't think I'm the best choice for Hinata-sama. Nor do I think that she would be the best choice for me. But, as Hyuugas, I'm confident that the two of us could find happiness if that was the direction we were forced to go."

Temari struggled with herself before reaching out and brushing the X away from the square between Neji and Hinata. Neji watched her with expressionless eyes. This went against every instinct she had, but for the health of this little village a Hyuuga marriage might end up necessary in the end. But _only_ if Hinata wanted it.

"I'm going to hang out with Kiba tonight," she said. "I'm hoping he won't be annoyed about wasting a date on me. And I'll put Ino with you, if you don't mind. I don't think she's settled on Kiba; she's just testing the water the way she always does. With her whole body at once."

"I don't mind."

"It's good to know about this." She pointed at the clean square between Neji's name and Hinata's. "But I'm not sure it makes things any better. Imagine how complicated it'll get if you fall in love with someone else and then Hinata decides that she wants _you_."

"Fall in love?" he said, an eyebrow raised. Temari sniffed.

"Excuse me. I mean, 'get sprung on.'"

"Still not clear enough."

_"_I _mean,_ whatever it is you men intend to do when you pick a woman."

"'Pick a woman' works just fine."

"Well, aren't you a male chauvinist bastard after all."

He allowed himself a small smile. "Don't fool yourself. The man you want is more chauvinistic than I am. Not to mention a bigger bastard."

**O O O**

Hinata hunched down under the spring until the water was touching her chin. It was too cold to stay in so long this early in the day, but she did her best to tolerate it while Ino tugged and twisted her hair into braids. Ino, however, was getting fed up.

"Hinata, this isn't working. I can't do your hair when your hair keeps falling back in the water."

"I don't want the boys to see me," she said. It was easy to be honest with Ino, who only judged her when she needed to be judged.

"They're not going to see you," Ino said.

"But Temari-san said they could be peeking from behind any tree or rock..." Nervous, she glanced all around her for probably the fiftieth time. She still couldn't see any hint of a boy, but that didn't mean they weren't there.

"I know what she said, and that's why we're at _this_ spring. Because the guys don't know about it."

"Kiba-kun could find it."

"I made sure Kiba-kun knows that he'd be taking his life into his hands if he tried. Besides, Temari is keeping an eye on the guys while the rest of us get ready. So just relax and sit up here on the edge where I can reach you." She patted the ground beside her.

Comforted a little, Hinata used her arms to push herself out of the water and onto the edge of the flat boulder where Ino was sitting. The stone was warm from the sun, and she shivered as the warmth began to seep into her bare skin and chase away the cold. Ino smiled.

"Better?"

She had to admit that it was.

Ino was still smiling as she finger-combed out a section of her hair. Normally this was one of Hinata's favorite things, to let Ino wash and comb and pull and play with her hair. It was something they did as often as they could, because it felt so good and because there was never anything more pressing to do. But they'd never done it for this _reason_ before.

To impress boys.

Secretly, Hinata doubted that the boys would be impressed by pretty hair. For one thing, boys never said _anything_ about a girl's hair. That was something she'd learned when she was fourteen, that when boys notice something about a girl, it's not her hair. She never once overheard a boy make a sly comment about her _hair_ to his friends. Never saw one point to her and then gesture rudely about the size of her _hair_.

That's what she liked about Ino. Ino noticed _lots_ of things. She noticed when Hinata added some little decoration to her rabbit-skin top, or doodled on herself with squid ink. She noticed when Hinata was worried, or afraid, or when she had something really important to say but couldn't think of the right way to say it before someone else started talking. Some people thought Ino was self-absorbed, but after four years on this island Hinata had learned that Ino was _everyone_-absorbed. Her heart was so big that she could worry about herself and still have enough compassion for everyone else. Maybe that's why Hinata found her so easy to love. Because when she loved Ino, Ino noticed.

"My, we're thoughtful," Ino said. She carefully separated out another strand of Hinata's hair. "Worried about your date?"

"A little bit."

Ino said nothing; she knew that the first thing Hinata said wasn't always what she actually meant. It was like a handicap, a mindless stutter, and Hinata still hadn't figured out how to get over it.

"I wish I still had my coat," she finally explained.

"That heavy old thing? No offense, but I say good riddance. It made you look like a rice ball with legs." Then Ino's eyes got bright and sparkly, the way they did when she was figuring something out. "Unless you'd _rather_ look like a rice ball."

"Boys don't notice rice balls. I mean, not in the same way."

"Actually..." Ino said with a smirk, "I would say it's pretty similar."

"But rice balls are food."

"And men are very, very simple. You should see how confused and happy they get when you _cook_ for them. Or when you smell like yakiniku..." Ino glanced at her meaningfully. "I'm just saying."

The sun, along with Ino's gentle touches, warmed Hinata through and made her sigh with contentment. It was too bad they couldn't stay like this forever. Not that she wished the boys hadn't come; far from it. But things had been simpler before. The five of them had finally come to terms with life on the island, a life without men. They'd gotten comfortable. But then the boys had come along and reminded them all of what they'd been missing, and now a lifetime of nights curled up with Ino didn't seem quite as satisfying as it had before. It was obvious that Ino felt the same way. Things were changing. Good changes, maybe, but it made Hinata want to relax and soak up moments like this before they were gone.

Ino watched her, a hint of sadness in her eyes that reflected Hinata's own feelings.

"I just want you to know, I'm not giving you up to just any joker," she said. "There's not going to be any settling for you."

She didn't need to worry; Hinata had come to that conclusion herself. If there was one thing she had plenty of on this island, it was time to think. To examine herself. And she'd discovered a pattern in herself, a tendency to get attached to headstrong people that barely took notice of her. Starting with her father. Then Neji-nii-san. To an extent, Kiba-kun and Shino-kun fell in this category, too.

And Naruto-kun.

Ino called it hero-worship. Searching for god where god didn't exist. She said she understood it because she had done it, too. But it was so much a part of Hinata's fabric that she didn't know how _not_ to do it. If she was honest with herself, it was the same pattern that had drawn her to Ino. But Ino, by some miracle, had actually reciprocated. And in doing so she'd taught Hinata that there was something in _her_ that was worth loving.

She had no intention of letting some boy get intimate with her if he couldn't see it, too, whatever it was. It wasn't strength that brought her to that decision, it was terror. She couldn't be that exposed to someone who didn't love her; the thought alone made her want to shrivel up and die.

"You're shaking," Ino said.

"I'm not going to do it."

"I know, sweetie. No one's going to make you. I'd kill anyone who tried."

Hinata nodded.

"But I really don't think you have anything to worry about," Ino said. "Just because the guys are hornier than a bunch of toads doesn't mean that they're stupid. If they pay attention at all, they're going to see how beautiful you are."

Hinata buried her face in her hands. "That's why I need my coat," she said. "I want them to pay attention to _me_, not to my..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"You don't get it, Hinata. Your body is one of your most important virtues. I'm not being shallow; I'm telling you the truth."

Hinata glanced up at her, uncomprehending.

"It's easy to be humble when you have nothing to be proud of. But you're the prettiest woman on this island and you're humble anyway. That makes you the prettiest, _and_ the best. A guy would have to be a moron not to understand that."

Ino said stuff like that now and then, but Hinata never knew how to respond to it. So she traded places with Ino and began to work on her hair instead. There was a lot of it, and it took a long, long time to braid it and secure it well enough that it wouldn't come out. But they worked all afternoon, and Hinata enjoyed every moment of it. When she was done, they gave each other pedicures and manicures with Kiba-kun's nail clippers.

She was quiet while they helped each other groom, and Ino only spoke now and then to point out an animal or comment on the weather. By the time they were done, it was hot enough that they had to dip back into the cold spring water to rinse off the sweat. Then they lay down on the boulder, side by side, shivering in the sun.

"I want your word, Hinata," Ino said. "No settling."

"No settling," she agreed.

"If your guy doesn't love you at least as much as I do, he can't have you."

"I know, Ino-chan."

Ino studied her face, as though she was looking for some sign that Hinata might crack. Then, apparently satisfied, she sighed and admired her clean nails. "I wish I had some makeup. I can't compete with you without it."

"I wish I had my coat," Hinata muttered. Ino laughed, rolled over and kissed her softly on the lips. Her fingers grazed Hinata's stomach and Hinata shivered again, although this time it was neither from fear nor cold.

"You're not half as prudish as you act," Ino said. "If you were, you never would have let me anywhere near you."

Hinata let her head roll to the side as Ino kissed her neck, her shoulder, with a tenderness that said that this phase of their lives was coming to an end; the end, in fact, was already here. But maybe, just for a few moments more, they didn't _have_ to let it go.

**O O O**

Kiba didn't mind that he was going to be stuck with Temari for Date Night One. And he wasn't bummed that she wasn't bothering to get pretty for him. She wasn't on the hunt like the other girls, and she seemed to be fundamentally against the idea of dressing up, anyway; he overheard her tell Tenten that the guys didn't need any encouragement to find the girls "attractive." True enough.

What bothered him was this: if he was going to be with Temari, that meant Hinata and Ino were going to be with other guys. And there was nothing he could do about it except sit here and brood.

He saw Sakura and Tenten first; they emerged from the woods near the mouth of the river like a pair of beach princesses, with shells draped around their necks and woven into their hair. He grinned at their resourcefulness; beach debris was boring as hell until you used it as accessories on good-looking girls.

Then Hinata appeared, her face tilted down and her cheeks pink with embarrassment. She walked toward him, each step closer making it harder for him to breathe. Dear god, when had she gotten so beautiful? Had she always looked like that and he'd just missed it? Her body rivaled even Temari's, except that Hinata still had the soft features and graceful movements of a much more delicate woman. He couldn't believe he'd spent so many nights sleeping beside this, on a tiny futon in a tiny tent with only...well yeah, okay, Shino was there, too. But still...what a dumbass.

She smiled at him as she approached, and when she got close enough she held out something. His nail clippers. She bowed slightly as he took them from her and slipped them into his pocket.

"Hinata, you look absolutely gorgeous." She flushed fire-red and said nothing. "So, which of these clods gets to take you out tonight?"

Her lips formed a name: _Naruto-kun_. Poor kid. She must be in complete knots about this. If he was honest with himself, it knotted him up a little, too. He was past being hot for her; at least, he was so preoccupied with Ino's tits that he didn't dwell on Hinata's. But that didn't mean the other guys weren't dwelling on them. He wanted to believe that at least one of them would treat her right, but he knew them too well to be _comfortable_ about it.

"Kiba-kun?"

"Hm?"

She had her fingers twined together, fidgeting while she gazed blankly at his chest. She glanced back over her shoulder at Naruto, who was having an animated discussion with Tenten and Sakura. Then she looked up at him again. He realized for the first time that he could see her eyes clearly; she'd twisted her bangs back into the rest of her hair and had nothing to hide behind.

"When you were on your island," she said, "and it was just you and the other boys, did you ever..." She looked at him hopefully, like maybe he would know where she was going with this, but he honestly had no clue.

"Did I ever what?"

Her fingers fidgeted some more. "I mean, when it was just you and Naruto-kun. Did you ever..." Her voice got very quiet. "...tell him?"

He laughed. She looked hurt at first, but he shook his head firmly. "No way, Hinata. Never."

Suddenly, she hugged him. He caught her reflexively, folded her into his arms without thought. She'd only ever hugged him once before: the first time they saw each other on the beach two days ago. He'd figured it was an impulse of the moment and never expected it to happen a second time, but now here she was again, relaxing against his body like warm velvet. He caught himself falling into the comforting scent of her; the honey and sun-warmed linens, the sea water, the coconut and bananas she'd eaten for lunch. The pheromones and musk. Salt and grass. And layered on top of _that_ was something else: the complex perfume of another human. Ino. Huh.

"Thank you, Kiba-kun," she said.

"Uh-huh."

While he was still reeling from the hug, she trumped herself; she stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. But this proved to be too much for her, and she dropped away and scooted back a couple of feet. She looked embarrassed but happy. He didn't know what to say. He barely recognized the brave little minx who stood here in Hinata's skin; didn't recognize her, but cared for her just the same.

Ino appeared behind Hinata and fussed with a few of her braids. "Careful. All your hugging is undoing my hard work."

Kiba's eyes fell on her, and speech and intelligence fled him. Where the other girls were beach princesses, Ino was the goddess of the sea. Delicate jewelry made of tiny shells draped over every curve of her body: around her neck, her waist, her hips. Necklaces trailed down her collarbones and between her breasts, wrapped around her wrists and ankles. It was like the naughtiest, barliest-there lingerie he'd ever seen.

"Ino..."

"Got a little something on your face," she said. She pretended to wipe drool away from his bottom lip. The necklace taunted him the way it played in the Wonderland of his dreams, slipping in and out of her cleavage with the barest movement of her head. This was bad. The stuff they were wearing was sexy enough before, but he didn't know the girls actually had it in their power to make it _sexier_. He imagined the other guys checking her out, staring at her, _touching_ her, and sudden fury rose up and threatened to choke him. Shikamaru had it easy, lucky bastard. _His_ woman was covered head-to-thigh in a giant t-shirt. The guys only looked at her when there was no one else to look at.

Seized by inspiration, he tore his t-shirt off over his head and thrust it toward Ino. Her eyes widened with genuine surprise and she stared at the shirt, then at him, then at Hinata. Then back to him again.

"What is this?" she said.

"My shirt. You should wear it."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"To keep those perverts from looking at you, obviously. They don't need to see you dressed like that."

She laughed. "Who do think I'm wearing this for?"

"Aren't you wearing it for me?"

"I'm not going on a date with _you_ tonight, but am I?"

"But..."

"Just because Temari let Shikamaru take her off the market doesn't mean _I'm_ ready to go." She spun slowly, and when she was facing away he could see the thin strands of shells that peeked out from under her skirt in the back and draped around her thighs. "This body is a grand-prize trophy, Kiba. I don't give myself to the first player. The best man has to win."

With that, she took Hinata's arm and led her away. Her white-blonde braids danced witchily behind her back, and Hinata glanced back over her shoulder, her eyes full of compassion.

"Ino..." he began, but Ino waved a regal hand.

"You wanted to play. Let's play."

Play? She called _this_ playing? What was it, a jealousy game? She'd picked the wrong opponent if she thought she could beat him at a game like that. He could have every woman on this island eating out of his hand; hell, he could have them eating out of his _lap_.

Temari came over and called everyone together; the evening's pairs drifted toward each other while she laid down the rules for Date Night. Naruto made his way to Hinata, who had a hand wrapped in Ino's hand and wasn't letting go. Ino put her lips close to Hinata's ear and whispered little encouragements too quiet for anyone else to hear, but Kiba heard them: _Stand up straight. Shoulders back. You have nothing to hide. Look him in the eye. The more he's looking at your eyes, the less he's looking at your ya-ya's. _Kiba couldn't help but smile. Ino played the sassy blonde now and then, but she was a lot deeper than that.

It was time for the couples to go their separate ways. Ino gently pried Hinata's hand loose from hers and touched her shoulder in goodbye. While Naruto was looking around he coincidentally caught Kiba's eye; Kiba quirked a warning eyebrow, but Naruto just smiled stupidly and led Hinata away.

Ino slinked up to Shikamaru and hugged him around the waist. Then she shot a glance over her shoulder at Kiba as if to say, _You're not the only man on this island_. Shikamaru brought a distracted arm up and dropped it over Ino's shoulders, but he never paused in his conversation with Neji. Kiba smirked. He couldn't be jealous of Shikamaru; Shikamaru's attention had been on one thing all day long, and that was Temari's ass.

But then Ino let go of Shikamaru and took Neji's arm, claiming her date for the night. Unlike Shikamaru, Neji let his eyes drift toward Ino, let them linger a little too long where shouldn't have been lingering. Ino smiled beautifully at him and Kiba could smell it, sex leaking from everyone of Neji's pores. Neji. Cool as ice, so no one but Kiba ever knew that he was just as depraved as the rest of them. And Ino was going to wear _that_ for him. On the beach. In the dark.

Motherfucker.

Neji turned away, and Ino took the opportunity to look back at Kiba and raise a seductive eyebrow. Then she pushed her hips out and gave them a wiggle that made the all little shells tinkle. Twitching her tail at him.

She had no idea how much danger her tail was in.

* * *

Review please?


End file.
